By Jennie
A wife in North Carolina has been awarded $9 million in an “alienation of affection” suit against her husband’s mistress. Cynthia Shackelford sued Anne Lundquist under a little-used state statute that allows wronged spouses to recover damages from the “other (wo)man.”
Cynthia Shackelford on Good Morning America
I sympathize with the antipathy a woman or man naturally feels towards the person that their spouse has an affair with, but I’m not sure such suits are really appropriate in this day and age. They date back to a time when a wife was considered property and thus could be “stolen.” I’m don’t think that expanding the definition to include men really represents progress. You can’t seduce someone who is not open to being seduced (even if perhaps only unconsciously), and while I disapprove (in a general way; I try not to judge individuals because every case is different and it’s none of my business) of sleeping with someone who is married, the lion’s share of the “blame” needs to go to the person who broke their marriage vows.
What do you think?
Tags: adultery, alienation of affection, Anne Lundquist, Cynthia Shackelford, North Carolina
Absolutely they blame goes to the spouse. But as a North Carolinian and admitedly spiteful person- I’m all for it. Not bc it’s “right” or current but- bc I just plain old think they deserve it. I know that’s not the right way to think….. yet I’m not the least bit ashamed of it.
I believe NC is one of 7 states with this law.
It definitely takes two to tango, however, if (big IF) the OW purposely planned for “taking” away the affection of the H from the W, and there is a law (albeit outdated), then I say go for it.
There are, however, many marriages where the cheating spouse appears to be “normal” and loving towards his/her spouse while having an affair. So, it is possible that some spouses believe everything is okay in their marriage.
With that said, I am one that believes that no matter how “bad” a marriage is — I don’t think an affair can ever be “justified.” You either A) try to work on it or B) divorce and move on. To involve a third party to your marriage and family is beyond terrible in my opinion.
Other people can be sued with this law, too, including co-workers, counselors, doctors, etc. — anyone who tries to encourage one spouse to leave his/her spouse for OW/OM. Elizabeth Edwards has a possible case with John Edward’s assistants who I believe, has written a book about it all (so distasteful IMO).
Years ago I worked in an office where this woman called and asked for one person, who then transferred the call to the big boss of the firm. He was the middle man of this really super sneaky affair — both parties were married. It was really quite disgusting.
I don’t know much about this particular case. I do think the OW and exH are still together or were for some time. So, in a sense, the betrayed spouse was going after both her H and the OW. I don’t think she’ll ever collect a dime on it, but I doubt it was for the money anyway.
HA! You make a very good point, Jennie, but I agree with Samantha anyway!
Nancy why wouldn’t she see a dime of it? I’m betting she sees many dimes of it.
It’s so interesting that she was awarded so much. Was he really worth all that?
Ann – I just have a feeling knowing how lawsuits play out, she’ll have to sue for non-payment. By then, the OW will have hidden all her money and claim herself unemployed or something stupid just out of spite to not have to pay. I hope I am wrong, though.
Grrrr….you are probably right, Nancy…
I totally get having the visceral reaction in favor of this. Personally, I’d probably want to put sugar in the other woman’s gas tank and possibly sneak something into her shampoo that would make her hair fall out. My feeling is still that women who blame the other woman more than their spouse are in denial, though.
Wow, I could be sued for encouraging a co-worker to leave her spouse for someone else? That’s kind of scary!
I find the law ridiculous. It absolves the man of responsbility and makes it seem like he is a victim of the ” husband stealer.” It also absolves the wife of any responsibility – and we don’t know that she was blameless either.
I agree with those who think the wife will never see a dime – the Goldmans and Browns have never gotten a dime from OJ. First, there will be an appeal and that will drag out for a long time. Then, I expect the OW will have gotten top notch legal advice on where to tuck the money away.
I am divided on this one. I am probably being unduly influenced by the spate of cases involving women who had to know they were sleeping with a married man. Skanks such as Rielle Hunter and that disgusting whats-her-name that slept with Mr. Sandra Bullock, but I have zero sympathy for these poor excuses for women.
I wouldn’t campaign to extend the law to my state, but if it’s on the books and the wife wants to pursue it, I say go for it. The money isn’t so much an issue – I just like the idea that the other women (or man) would be forced to appear in a court of law and answer for his or her actions.
All this said, the majority of the “blame” does belong with the cheating spouse IMO, but that doesn’t mean the actions of the one(s) s/he cheated withare not reprehensible too. It seems these days, it’s sometimes a ticket to being a temporary celebrity. YUCK!
I agree with Paige on this one.
In this day and age it is a ridiculous law and I cringe at the amount of money taxpayers would have to cough up if this was a law in all states.
I guess it sends a message but I don’t believe she will collect a dime and I doubt if this ruling will deter further affairs from happening.
I’d like to see Elin Nordigren and Sandra Bullock go after these women who are out there bragging and making money off the fact that they slept with their husbands. I’m not saying the men are innocent, because they’re not, but these women are hurting the wives with their bragging. I’d like to know where their shame is.
I don’t want the husband absolved- I want them both to pay through the nose. The fact that “she didn’t make vows to me” doesn’t get her off in the hook in my book.
I am not saying that the Other Woman is admirable any way. And I am certainly not impressed at all with skanks who kiss and tell. It seems pretty clear that a lot of the woman who had sex with Tiger Woods wanted a pay day out of it one way or another (hush money from him or gossip money for the tabloids). And of course, we all know what women who get paid for sex really are.
However, I still find the law ridiculous. I wonder how often (if it is even part of the law) that a man is sued for alienating the affections of another mans wife. It strikes me as another one of those ways to blame women and give me an excuse. To me it really comes back to the whole idea if a man has sex with a lot of women, he is still considered a stud while if a women does she is considered a slut. If it the uniformly applied and we heard stories about men sueing other men on this, I might feel differently.
What if I was never married to my child’s father, can I still file a law suit against him for alienation of affection?
I am the other woman…and I had no idea. This man told me that they were seperated and she kicked him out, and in the midst of their divorce. I even overheard him talking to the lawyer on the phone. So much to my shock he was still being with her every day. I now know what a dirty dog he is and have left him, but now she is trying to charge me with alienation of affection. I was hurt too. I had no clue, and still I’m being punished….