By Jennie
Like many Bay Area residents, I have never forgotten the awful events that occurred in April 1989 in the Sonoma County wine country. Winery worker Ramon Salcido went on a rampage, shooting two co-workers (killing one), shooting his wife to death, and slashing to death his mother-in-law and his wife’s two young sisters, ages 8 and 12. Salcido’s three young daughters were missing for 36 hours before they were found in a Petaluma garbage dump. Four-year-old Sofia and one-year-old Teresa were dead, but by some miracle two-year-old Carmina had survived her throat being cut. She told rescuers, “Daddy cut me.”
Like many in the Bay Area, I had wondered occasionally over the years about Carmina; I hoped she was living a happy life and had – somehow – been able to accept the enormous loss she’d suffered and the horrible violence her father had visited on her. It was just by chance that I happened to be channel-surfing on a recent Friday evening and saw that 20/20 was going to have a report on her. I watched fascinated as the crimes were recounted and Carmina talked about her memories of that day (she has more than you’d expect of someone who was not quite three years old when the events took place). She struck me as a very articulate and self-possessed young woman, and when at the end of the report, I saw that she’d written a book, called Not Lost Forever: My Story of Survival (along with true crime writer Steve Jackson), I determined to buy a copy at the first opportunity, which I did.
I am not much of a true crime reader; honestly, the voyeurism inherent in the genre makes me a little queasy. Certainly, there are enough brutal details of Ramon Salcido’s crimes in this book to scare off the faint of heart. But as the subtitle indicates, this is primarily a story of survival, a memoir (a genre that I like much better, though I’ll admit there is more than a whiff of voyeurism in the appreciation of many of those books, too) of a young life that has already seen far, far too much suffering.
The book begins by recreating the setting for the crimes and detailing the backgrounds of Ramon Salcido and his young wife Angela and continues through to the murders themselves and Salcido’s apprehension in Mexico less than a week later. The story is told through multiple points of view, including those of Carmina herself, a young reporter who wrote on the case for the local newspaper, and the lead detective who helped capture Ramon Salcido. This takes up about the first half of the book, while the second half details Carmina’s life after the slayings and her eventual return to Sonoma County. Carmina did not have the easy and charmed life that so many of us who knew her story wished for her. Her grandfather, grieving over the loss of his wife, three daughters and two granddaughters, felt unequal to the task of caring for her. She was adopted (in a more or less open adoption; her grandfather was allowed to visit her) by a family in the Midwest, chosen by her grandfather because they shared his religious beliefs. Angela Salcido had been raised within an extremely conservative Catholic subgroup which did not believe in the reforms of Vatican II and was thus out of step with modern Catholicism. Carmina’s adoptive parents were older; most of their children had left home by the time she was adopted (the last child at home left shortly after her arrival). She was raised in isolation, home-schooled and not allowed friends. She was emotionally, physically and (she hints strongly) sexually abused. She had simply traded one nightmare for another.
Jackson’s writing is smooth and competent, but it’s Carmina’s voice that shines through – this is not a happy story, and any happy ending Carmina someday finds will always be marred by the pain and loss she’s suffered. But it is to a great degree an inspirational story – Carmina’s suffering has not defeated her. She is strong and determined, and seems to have a great capacity for forgiveness and for accepting the shortcomings in the people around her. Ultimately, it is these qualities that make Not Lost Forever an uplifting story of grace and survival.











Comments
7 Responses to Book Review: Not Lost Forever by Carmina Salcido
Thanks for the great review, Jennie. I too remember this tragedy. How sad for this young lady to have to had all this tragedy in 22 years. How uplifting that she has not been defeated. I will place this book on my list.
I happen to enjoy true crime novels and really don’t consider it voyeurism. Reading true crime has open my eyes to the way the world really is. A reality check so to speak.
What a sad story- I hadn’t heard of this before. I wish I had seen this interview- she sounds like a phenomenal young woman despite (or maybe even in part bc of) the tragedy she witnessed.
I think those of us who were around in the Bay Area when this tragedy occurred remember it well.
I read the book after Jen and Carmina is an amazing and beautiful young women. It was a privilege to be granted a look into Carmina’s life after the tragedy.
Most of the 20/20 interivew is available on YouTube:
I have never heard of this. I hate to hear of how sad her childhood was following the attacks. I like that she has not been defeated as Pam stated.
Thanks for the review Jennie. I like true-crime. For me, it doesn’t feel like voyeurism. Although, I stay away from the sensational writers who dwell on the gory details. As grisly as it is, it fascinates me because it’s all pieces of life and it’s real.
Anya, thanks for posting that. I will watch it.
Thanks, Jennie. I hadn’t heard of this tragedy either. Frankly, it sounds so awful and tragic it’s horrible to think about. I’m amazed she remebers details. So sad.
This other discussion, about whether true crime novels are voyeuristic, is also interesting. I agree with Jennie that they can be at times. I agree that memoirs can be also. Not always, but it’s a danger in the genre as well as reality TV that privacy might be unnecessarily violated.
Oh my word. What a nightmare. The grandfather’s religious fanaticism probably had its role in the father’s dysfunction as well, then to be handed off to be abused and kept apart from other people, this poor kid. There may have been some kind of schizophrenia in that family…She’s only a few years older than my daughter – when I think of her just short of three and to imagine her going through all that then to be sent off to a family that wasn’t even related that you didn’t know from Adam, only to be further traumatized -it is heart breaking. I hope that she has found some kind of community somewhere with relatively normal people. The human spirit is so tough it’s almost depressing what we can withstand. We shouldn’t be able to withstand that, because we shouldn’t HAVE to. No other animal in this world would behave as badly as man does, to each other.
I’m surprised given the family situation they had that the state did not make it their business to monitor who this child was “given” to.
The last true crime book I read was about John Douglas, the FBI detective who sort of invented their profiling department, his cases were more or less the ones discussed in Silence of the Lambs. That scared the SNOT out of me, that any one person could be as sick as that and yet this guy ran into them by the dozens. I’m not sure why I read it, or why I read up on cases like the Laci Peterson one in Modesto. Part of me wants to be involved as a way of keeping that wolf away from my own door in some weird way. Maybe if I grieve for this person, if I see this crime to someone else, the “sickle will whicker blindly all around me, missing the ones I love” something like that. Of course in most cases it’s not some nut job who just kills you it is your own husband or parent. But reading about it or in some way letting it touch you, letting it in, feels almost like it does put up a barrier in my mind, that this happened to someone else and threefore it happens to someone else, and not to us. A fragile illogical leap I’m sure.
I just saw your story on tv and it is a horrible tragedy for you and your family, i can only imagine the terror you felt as you were going through this. i am so terribly sorry for your loss, it makes no sense how a father could do such an awful thing and feel nothing about his actions. you are a very strong young woman and i pray for you and your mom and sisters and the others for that day! stay strong and remember the laughter between you and your family before this happened. your a survivor and i hope your singing dreams come true.