Book Review: Not Lost Forever by Carmina Salcido Share on Tumblr PinExt Book Review: Not Lost Forever by Carmina Salcido

By Jennie

Like many Bay Area residents, I have never forgotten the awful events that occurred in April 1989 in the Sonoma County wine country. Winery worker Ramon Salcido went on a rampage, shooting two co-workers (killing one), shooting his wife to death, and slashing to death his mother-in-law and his wife’s two young sisters, ages 8 and 12. Salcido’s three young daughters were missing for 36 hours before they were found in a Petaluma garbage dump. Four-year-old Sofia and one-year-old Teresa were dead, but by some miracle two-year-old Carmina had survived her throat being cut. She told rescuers, “Daddy cut me.”

Like many in the Bay Area, I had wondered occasionally over the years about Carmina; I hoped she was living a happy life and had – somehow – been able to accept the enormous loss she’d suffered and the horrible violence her father had visited on her. It was just by chance that I happened to be channel-surfing on a recent Friday evening and saw that 20/20 was going to have a report on her. I watched fascinated as the crimes were recounted and Carmina talked about her memories of that day (she has more than you’d expect of someone who was not quite three years old when the events took place). She struck me as a very articulate and self-possessed young woman, and when at the end of the report, I saw that she’d written a book, called Not Lost Forever: My Story of Survival (along with true crime writer Steve Jackson), I determined to buy a copy at the first opportunity, which I did.

I am not much of a true crime reader; honestly, the voyeurism inherent in the genre makes me a little queasy. Certainly, there are enough brutal details of Ramon Salcido’s crimes in this book to scare off the faint of heart. But as the subtitle indicates, this is primarily a story of survival, a memoir (a genre that I like much better, though I’ll admit there is more than a whiff of voyeurism in the appreciation of many of those books, too) of a young life that has already seen far, far too much suffering.

The book begins by recreating the setting for the crimes and detailing the backgrounds of Ramon Salcido and his young wife Angela and continues through to the murders themselves and Salcido’s apprehension in Mexico less than a week later. The story is told through multiple points of view, including those of Carmina herself, a young reporter who wrote on the case for the local newspaper, and the lead detective who helped capture Ramon Salcido. This takes up about the first half of the book, while the second half details Carmina’s life after the slayings and her eventual return to Sonoma County. Carmina did not have the easy and charmed life that so many of us who knew her story wished for her. Her grandfather, grieving over the loss of his wife, three daughters and two granddaughters, felt unequal to the task of caring for her. She was adopted (in a more or less open adoption; her grandfather was allowed to visit her) by a family in the Midwest, chosen by her grandfather because they shared his religious beliefs. Angela Salcido had been raised within an extremely conservative Catholic subgroup which did not believe in the reforms of Vatican II and was thus out of step with modern Catholicism. Carmina’s adoptive parents were older; most of their children had left home by the time she was adopted (the last child at home left shortly after her arrival). She was raised in isolation, home-schooled and not allowed friends. She was emotionally, physically and (she hints strongly) sexually abused. She had simply traded one nightmare for another.

Jackson’s writing is smooth and competent, but it’s Carmina’s voice that shines through – this is not a happy story, and any happy ending Carmina someday finds will always be marred by the pain and loss she’s suffered. But it is to a great degree an inspirational story – Carmina’s suffering has not defeated her. She is strong and determined, and seems to have a great capacity for forgiveness and for accepting the shortcomings in the people around her. Ultimately, it is these qualities that make Not Lost Forever an uplifting story of grace and survival.

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