Loaning out money is always a pretty risky proposition for the individual.  Banks and other types of lenders have the right idea; they require a good credit history, collateral, and a signed contract before they’ll hand over the cash that borrowers seek.  But when your friends or family come to you with their hands out, you’re not very likely to ask for any of these things.  And this is why people who lend money rarely see it coming back to them.  So should you lend money to your family and friends?  That’s for you to decide.  But if you do, you should definitely go about it in a manner that will help to ensure the loan is repaid.  And you’d better be prepared for the potential repercussions if the borrowers should fail to hold up their end of the bargain.

The first thing to consider when you receive a request for money is whether or not you can afford to lend it.  If you absolutely don’t have the extra cash on hand or you’re going to need it back in short order to meet your own financial obligations, DO NOT lend it.  That said, you’re welcome to do whatever you want with your disposable income, including lending it out to your loved ones in their hour of need.  But if you’d like to see a return you must be smart about who you lend to and the terms of the loan.  For example, if you have lent money to someone before and they haven’t paid you back, for goodness sake don’t extend them any more credit!

If you decide to pull the trigger and hand over the cash, there are a couple of things you should strongly consider doing.  First, create a written agreement.  It doesn’t have to be fancy; a simple IOU will do.  But there are two reasons you’ll want to make the document a bit more detailed.  The first is taxation.  If you loan a decent sum you could be on the hook to pay a gift tax, even though the money was a loan.  The only real way to avoid this is to lend less than the amount that would be taxed (currently limited to $13,000 per year, per recipient) or to produce a document showing the borrower’s intent to repay with interest.  Even if you only charge 1% per year, it may be a necessary addition to the contract in order to avoid having to pay the IRS for the privilege of loaning out money.  The second reason to create a contract is just in case you have to go to court in order to secure repayment.

And it is for the latter reason that you will also want to include a schedule for payments in your agreement.  From there all you have to do is create two copies of the contract for each party to sign, and if you really want to tie it up with a bow, take it to a notary public to witness.  This may seem like a lot of work for a simple loan between friends, but when it comes to money, nothing is simple.  Sadly, even with an agreement in place you could end up losing personal relationships if the party in question fails to repay.  So your best policy is not to lend in the first place, or else just give your money away with no expectation of repayment.

Evan Fischer writes for a number of online publications in the finance sector reviewing loan sites such as Wonga.com and many online comparison websites.

By Nicola Winters

Divorce rates are on the rise and the number of marriages that fail the test of time is soaring. It now appears that more couples are separating than staying together, however that doesn’t mean that at the first sight of trouble we should all throw the towel in.

Divorce is, sometimes, the only option for some couples. Unfortunately there is nothing else that can be done to save the marriage and the relationship. However, before deciding on this drastic measure, here are some tips that can help restore and salvage the relationship:

Prioritizing between work, social and home commitments can be an extremely difficult task for any individual. Many couples split simply because they failed to spend quality time with each other.

At the beginning of any relationship we ensure that we spend as much time with each other as possible, making arrangements, trips and days out are a regular thing. However, after the initial stages, work, family and friends all seem to get in the way. It may be worth arranging a visit to one of the places you remember you both enjoyed. It may be a holiday destination, a restaurant or a bar. By re-visiting these places you are compelled to talk about your memories of that place and that day; happy memories. It may be that all you need is to escape the stress of everyday life every now and again to fully appreciate each other.

If this doesn’t work then it may be worth trying a trial separation. Everybody needs time alone and a little space every now and again. By being alone, you are able to clear your thoughts, make realistic plans for the future and decide exactly where your priorities lie without the added of pressure of outside distractions. If home life is proving a tense experience, this will be the perfect way to review the state of the relationship.

Many couples refuse to visit marriage counselors and mediation groups. There is a common misconception that these counselors are unqualified and unnecessary professionals. However, attending such sessions is a great way of off-loading all of your worries and anxieties. By talking to a third party, you are able to fully disclose intimate details of your relationship, something which you would rarely do elsewhere, and uncover the real reasons behind the break down. A marriage counselor can also offer couples different ways of communicating with each other by teaching you both to accept blame, admit faults and deal with guilt. This can make a huge difference to the way you view you both view your marriage.

In relationships and marriages where there is abuse or violence, divorce is definitely the best option. However, if you feel that there is simply a lack of communication, a lack of quality time being spent together or family life is proving too demanding, it may be worth trying to rekindle that time with your spouse. No couple sets out to divorce so why let it happen?

This is a guest post by Nicola Winters, a UK blogger who enjoys writing about sport, art and life in general.
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By Chris Molnar

This Christmas is your first one with a newborn. It’s definitely an exciting time, but there are also a lot of things you will stress over, such as figuring out how long to spend at each family’s house. Or trying to parry offers of food that baby isn’t ready for. Or how about opening gifts and finding that two different families picked the same outfit, causing an uncomfortable silence? These are the realities to baby’s first Christmas.

Though this special milestone is filled with much joy, it can bring about a great deal of stress as well. Unsuspecting new parents often find themselves at the center of heated debates between at least two different families. Add to that the stress of a whole army of relatives with well meaning but often unwanted advice. Though there can be a lot of stress to baby’s first Christmas, there are some effective ways to cope with that and eliminate that … unless you do the following:

1. Listen to All the “Advice” From Your Relatives: Yes you are going to have a whole army of well-meaning relatives that are sure to annoy you immensely. They will give you advice on everything from how warm you should keep baby to what they should eat. You can fight with them, causing heated arguments and lots of hurt feelings. Or, this is where you as a parent grow your wings by learning how to politely ignore them.

Only you know how to take care of your baby. You’re not suddenly going to change your ways based on conflicting advice. Your family and friends are excited about your baby, and just wish to feel part of baby’s life by “helping” you. Just smile politely, let them talk and then move on to another conversation. This usually gives the signal and allows you to focus on enjoying the season rather than being bogged down in too many opinions.

2. Don’t Prioritize: It’s not enough to just tell each side of the family that you’ll come on by with the baby. They want to know times of arrival, how long you’re staying, and how much time you are spending at the other family’s house. You and your partner should come up with a plan as you would for any other occasion and then stick to it.

You need to prioritize what you will be doing this Christmas. Write down what activities you have done before baby arrived. If you usually help at five major events, cross off four of them and stick with one. With the demands of your newborn and all the attention from family and friends, you won’t have time for the others.

3. Accommodate Everybody: Christmas is about celebration, festivities, parties and gifts. If you are planning to do all this, think again. You have a newborn. That means you will not have slept in weeks or months. People should understand if you have to bow out of certain parties, or if you decide not to be the hostess this year. Let somebody else take care of it this year. You and baby come first, and your friends have to realize this.

This is very hard for some parents but a necessity. Be cordial but speak your mind when enough is enough. Be sure that everyone understands that baby needs time to eat and sleep (this actually refers to yourself) and that sometimes this means that you can’t be everywhere. Though it may not go over well at first, if you set your limits early on, your friends and family will eventually understand.

4. Try to Be Perfect: If you have watched the latest crop of television shows featuring a baby, you will see that the house is always immaculate, clean and tidy. This is because a baby doesn’t actually live there! It’s a set put together by Hollywood designers and technicians, many of them in their early twenties and childless. The reality is that you will barely be able to get yourself dressed. Instead of thinking of presentation, think about simply enjoying your first Christmas with your new bundle of joy. The messy floor, the laundry and the last time you bathed don’t matter. Learn to embrace your new addition to the family – in twenty years, your memories will be of them crinkling the wrapping paper, not the piles of dirty dishes!

About the Author:

Chris Molnar is a Dad to two wonderful preschool daughters and has (almost) learned to take the stress out of holidays and birthday party planning. He and his wife are starting to get full nights of sleep after five years, and the dishes are usually washed the same day. Their first Christmas with baby involved lots of crinkling of wrapping paper, getting dressed in the late afternoon, and a short trip to Grandma and Grandpa’s where they let them do all the work.
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Online Dating for Women Over 60:  7 Tips for Creating the Perfect Profile

By Ellie Stevens

If you are a woman over sixty and considering joining the dating world once again, the direction to head is straight for your computer.  Because of the increasing popularity of online dating, the internet has turned into an extremely successful venue for seniors looking for love or companionship.  However, if this is your first time using this particular method of dating, getting started can be a bit overwhelming.  But once you find a site that caters to your specific dating needs be sure to take some time to sit down and follow the below advice for creating your online profile that is sure to dazzle all eligible bachelors in cyberspace.

Tip #1:  Come up with a user name.  This is what you will use on the dating website for interacting with single gentlemen.  As a safety precaution, do not use any personally identifying info (such as your actual first or last name) in your user name.  Think of a creative alias that hints to hobbies or other items of interest in your life, while making sure that it is not too long or difficult to pronounce.

Tip #2:  Choose an appropriate profile picture.  Let’s face it—people like to see faces.  That is why it is important when creating a noticeable profile to include a photograph of yourself.  When deciding on which picture to use for your main shot, be sure to select one that is really of you (and not you fifteen years earlier).  Make sure that this picture is up-close, clear and well-lit.  Hold off on using action or group shots in your profile picture—save those for an additional photos section.

Tip #3:  Think about the kind of man you want to attract.  Before writing your online bio, think about the kind of person you are and then consider the kind of person you are looking for.  To really define what you want in a partner, make a list of all of the attributes you would like your potential partner to have.  This will help you hone in on individuals with such traits so you don’t end up wasting your time or someone else’s.

Tip #4:  Brand yourself.  In the body of your online profile, you will have the opportunity to describe your unique qualities—what makes you different from all the other online-daters out there.  Be sure to show (not tell) your personality while describing what makes you you—interests, activities, hobbies, etc.  Try to stay away from merely listing a string of adjectives.  So rather than just saying you are “artistic,” describe the painting class you take each week.

Tip #5:  Lead with confidence and positivity.  Instead of dwelling on a negative past or on your pet peeves and annoyances, focus on the parts of life that you enjoy.  When you radiate confidence and positive energy you will attract another confident and positive person and will have the beginnings to a healthy, meaningful relationship with them.

Tip #6:  Be honest.  This is probably the most important advice for setting up a successful online dating profile.  To find a man who will be the perfect fit, it is essential to be yourself.  You might think that stretching the truth doesn’t matter when you’re dealing with a stranger online, but what if that person turns out to be someone with whom you could start a relationship?  Be brave and be truthful about what you look like, your education, work, etc.  A man with the right intentions is going to like you for who you are—and if he can’t accept that then he is not the right match.

Tip #7:  Don’t give away too much info.  As previously stated, it is important not to skimp on the wording in your bio.  You don’t want it to appear as if you can’t commit to filling out your dating profile because if you can’t show that you’re serious about that, then what else do you have trouble committing to?  With that being said, however, there are some safety concerns related to disclosing too much information online.  Because your information is accessible to anyone once it’s reached the internet, it is crucial not to give out facts like home address, place of business, personal email address, phone number or any other material that would set you apart from the next online dater.

Ellie Stevens is an author who brings us this guest post about online dating tips for women in the senior community.  Be sure to read her work that covers topics similar to this on Best Senior Dating Sites.
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By Danae Matthews

I have a bone to pick with women. Recently I was watching the latest installment of “The Real Housewives” series and a common theme dawned on me. These women are obsessed with class. Not having it, not exuding it, not taking one, but rather consistently calling one another out on the lack thereof. Anything from a dirty mouth to the wrong color of dress at a cocktail party can and will be deemed on “The Real Housewives” as classless. Regardless of the fact that I don’t personally run in the same circles as these women I find this kind of thought process creeping into the inner workings of my own social groups. Women I know are all too quick to stand behind their glass walls of classy delusions throwing stones of judgment. They however like their television counterparts couldn’t spell class if someone gave them the first four letters.

I don’t necessarily mean this about all my friends, I run with pretty classy ladies. I mean this more in reference to the general state of womanhood and femininity as it stands to date. This is dawn of an age where women cancel plans over a text message because calling takes too much gull. These are the days that women cut each other down in an effort to maintain the status of the “real” friend. We are living in an era where classlessness is running rampant and yet we want to believe that we are the defenders of sophistication.

How is it that we can turn a blind eye to one form or another of deception against class and yet admonish one another for a matching shoe and purse set? One might say that our priorities have fallen into disarray. I would argue yes. The truth of the matter is that “class” refers to a way in which a woman carries herself, walks into a room, conducts a conversation, but I would say most importantly treats people.

And when I say treats people, I mean all people. I cannot tell you how many times I have been embarrassed around acquaintances or yes, dare I say even friends, by the way that treat service people or perhaps just people that they weren’t interested in talking to. I’ve had friends talk down to waiters, taxi drivers, bag-boys- take your pick. These are the very same friends with the most expensive things who think that because they sit at the top of the socioeconomic ladder, they don’t ever have to look down.

This kind of behavior isn’t just limited to just strangers. Some women I’ve met who hold themselves in high esteem treat their “friends” with horrible manners. A woman of sophistication always remembers that friendships are gifts given to you by other people and can be returned at any moment. If you are sitting on a high horse believing that your friends are just so lucky to have you in their life, they are probably on the way to the register receipt in hand. It is not your job to keep your friends in check because you think you have so much to teach them about style, maturity or taste; if they didn’t ask, butt out!

The most important thing to remember is that a woman that deems herself classy remembers that if she is, she never has to talk about it. She doesn’t have to throw the word around and certainly doesn’t have to call people out on their lack thereof. We are all going to have moments of imperfection where we say something we wish we hadn’t, hurt someone’s feelings, etc…No one can sit in a glass forever without it receiving at least a couple cracks.

About the Author:

Danae Matthews is living, loving and working in San Francisco. She writes for an on-line health resource Women’s Health Base.
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