Written by Pregnant Polly

As you may have surmised from the not so mysterious name- I’m pregnant. My hormones are a little, shall we say…….. unpredictable. The brunt of which is inflicted upon my poor husband daily. I didn’t experience these hormonal mood changes (outbursts!) with our first child so this is completely new to me (and him). The first major “incident” came about a week ago. Allow me to set the scene.

It had been an exceptionally long day, much of which was spent being poked and prodded in the doctor’s office. On the way home my husband stopped to get gas and asked me if I wanted anything. Suddenly there was one thing in the entire world that I hadto have. Chocolate milk. At the moment it seemed like the best thing in the world. So hubby goes in, I see him chatting with the owner, then I notice he has a bottle of Yoo Hoo in his hand. Surely thats for him. No one would think a “chocolate drink” is the same as chocolate milk, would they? Not to mention we’ve been married long enough for him to know I don’t like Yoo Hoo. His purchases were in a brown paper bag so when he got in the car I calmly asked “did you get me chocolate milk?” Simple question- is it not? Yes or no. He said he did. *Inward sigh of relief* After all, as I mentioned before- I had to have it.

We get home, we get settled in. I asked him to pass me my cold, chocolate treasure- I was excited- it had been so long since I’d had one. Then the man handed me the Yoo Hoo. I thought he was kidding, I thought it was for him. I stared at him, eyes narrowed, hands on hips and demanded “Where’s the milk?” I’m sure I sounded only slightly like Satan. “This is chocolate milk” he had the audacity to insist. The following tirade is basically what came out of me- in a shrill/angry/hysterical voice:

* This is NOT chocolate milk, this is a YOO HOO- a chocolate flavored drink- it’s like chocolate water! It isn’t creamy, it isn’t delicious, It isn’t what I wanted. I ask you for one simple thing, and you cant even do that! We’ve been married for seven years, how do you not know I hate this garbage?!?! I can’t believe anyone would think this is the same as milk! *

I am normally calm, mellow, laid back, even tempered. I don’t know what took hold of me but my poor husband didn’t let my screaming fit ruffle his feathers.

Note to the Yoo Hoo people- Obviously Yoo Hoo isn’t garbage, its clearly delightful for the masses as evidenced by your successful longevity, please forgive my pregnancy induced rage against your product.

Next up: Last night I discovered I was out of Nair. I was a little disappointed. Then the thought occurred to me that I wasn’t certain pregnant women could even use Nair. I didn’t have the energy to shave. So I did what any normal pregnant woman would do. I sat down on the bathroom floor and sobbed uncontrollably- stopping every few moments to laugh at myself because even I, knew how ridiculous I was being. I don’t even think I was crying about the Nair. I was weeping, shoulders shaking, blubbering sounds coming out- head in hands I repeatedly told my husband how sorry I was that I was temporarily (hopefully) insane. He assured me it was okay, I was pregnant not insane, it wasn’t my fault, etc.

Commiserate with me ladies. For my own peace of mind I need to hear about your hormonal insanity, pregnancy related or otherwise!

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