By Jennie
On April 22, American University student Chloe Rubenstein posted an update on her Facebook page, making it visible to her Facebook friends, who number close to 1,000. She accused two fellow students by name of being rapists, and went on to say:
“we should all be aware! Stay away at all costs. They are predators and will show no remorse for anyone. If you have been effected by either one of these sickos please feel free to talk to me. With enough help we can take them down!”
Rubenstein’s warning related to two incidents, one of which she’d witnessed and the other she’d been told about. In the first incident, some two months before her posting, Rubenstein was hosting a party- as with many college parties, alcohol was flowing freely, and Rubenstein noticed a female friend enter her bedroom. Five minutes later, a male acquaintance followed the girl in, and Rubenstein went in after him to see what was going on. Rubenstein’s account does not detail what she found, but she does say that it brought back traumatic memories of her own sexual assault when she was a high school student.
Rubenstein tried to get her friend to talk to her about what had happened, but the woman refused to take her calls, though she heard from a mutual friend that the friend was not doing well. Around the same time, another friend confided in Rubenstein that she had been been raped by another AU student in an unrelated incident. The two events spurred Rubenstein to action, and she posted her Facebook status update shortly afterwards. As a result, Rubenstein says two other female AU students stepped forward with allegations against one of the alleged rapists. Rubenstein says the men accused have avoided her since the accusation (which, if true, I find somewhat telling), but that she has been harassed by other students supporting the alleged rapists. Even friends warned her of the possible ramifications of her actions – for one, she could easily be sued.
Rubenstein eventually removed the message, but stated that she did not do so because she was scared but for legal reasons and because she had already reached her intended audience. She finished with an exhortation to anyone who has been sexually assaulted to speak out, and and plea to victims to contact her if they wanted to talk.
The story brought up some interesting issues – I tend to believe Rubenstein’s truthfulness in this case, and don’t feel unfair for doing so, especially since I don’t even know the names of the men she accused. But over all, I’m concerned about the ramifications of using Facebook to convey such serious and important information. I don’t ultimately think it was the right channel for the accusations. I understand that Rubenstein’s options were probably limited – not being the victim in either case, could she have gone to the police and been taken seriously? Furthermore, there is a perception at some college campuses that campus police and school officials are not supportive of rape victims, based on the handling of various incidents in the past. So I can see how she may have felt Facebook was her best option. At the same time, the ease of writing a status update could lead to a rise in false accusations, or claims that accusations are false. In a way, it devalues the seriousness of a rape accusation.
Responsible use of social media is an evolving subject. Even with the best of intentions, it’s possible that a Pandora’s Box has been opened and won’t be easily closed.
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Comments
9 Responses to Facebook Rape Accusation
I don’t believe that Facebook is the right channel for dealing with accusations regarding rape. At this point in time they are only accusations and I would want to error on the side of caution before accusing someone of something like this on a Facebook account. If there was a chance that the young men were innocent, accusing them of something like this on a Facebook account with 1000 friends could ruin their reputation and their future. There were and are other avenues to pursue here.
Another thing I have a real problem with is people playing out relationship problems with family members, friends or significant others for eveyone to see. I don’t think someone should out their spouse on Facebook if they found them cheating or breakup with their significant other. You can’t take it back. Ever. People will always remember that and after you have made up and gotten back together it will be too late to alter the way they think about the person that you might have “bad mouthed” on Facebook.
And finally, announcing someone has died on Facebook is unforgivable. Last May, my nephew passed away suddenly and it was passed around on Facebook before many of my immediate family was notified. We were at a baseball game in San Diego and I did not have phone service but my son saw it on his Facebook account on his Blackberry and showed me. I took my phone out and saw that I had numerous messages in voice mail from family members but had not of course been aware of them. I have no problem with posting condolences on Facebook but give it a day until you are sure that everyone that needs to know is notified in a private manner.
Oh my. I’m torn on this one. First off- if they were innocent it would be a horrible thing to deal with. But considering the accusations both before and after the facebook message its hard not to strongly question their innocence. If they are guilty and therefore- predators, and that message kept even one young woman away from them and possibly prevented an assault then the message did its job and was worth it regardless of the method.
Chloe wasn’t the victim of her accusations. Speaking up for other victims is walking fine line between trying to help and interfering in their lives. I can understand Chloe wanting to warn others. I do wonder why didn’t she call the police when she looked into her bedroom when she followed her friend in to see what was going on. Do you see someone being raped and shut the door?
I can see victims fighting back in this way, I don’t think it was Chloe’s place to publicly accuse the two men. Since two other women came forward and Chloe wasn’t challenged by the two men who avoided her, it seems like what she wrote was true. I do think women need to look out for each other and information like this needs to be shared, but I think Chloe overstepped to broadcast allegations to her friends list.
Pam, I agree about announcing someone’s death on fb. Time needs to be given to notify family before it becomes a public announcement. You would think this would be a given.
Speaking up for other victims is walking fine line between trying to help and interfering in their lives. - Lily
Thank you, Lily, for expressing nicely what I wanted to say.
This story actually upset me. I cannot approve of Chloe’s actions. I feel she handled this matter completely wrong for a variety of reasons. She appointed herself judge and jury and convicted the young men before the court of public opinion.
It was not her place.
Pam, thank you for the reminder, again, of why it is so important to really reflect on our words before we post them on the internet.
Did she name the victims?
No, she didn’t.
Why didn’t she call the police when she witnessed a rape? Because she was already breaking the law by serving minors?
I’d say that it would be wise to avoid Chloe’s parties, both men and women. Yikes.
Should anyone use Facebook to claim they were a victim of a rape? Not unless the legal system failed. Then I’d say, go for it. Ruin the guy’s reputation if it is true but he got away with it. Women need to go to the police even though it feels shameful (it’s not) or humiliating. We have to encourage proper notification.
I tend to think that Chloe felt the girls themselves wouldn’t pursue things legally, and this was her way of getting the word out without involving the girls themselves. I kind of understand it, even if I don’t think it’s a good idea.
Real Men dont rape women they protect them.
Men who rape should be posted on the internet. Exposed for the cowards that they are!
Rape is about power not sex. Because obviously they are too hopeless so they have to drug women.
Men who engage in gang rape or more homosexual than they think, I mean your naked with your mates.
Because the act of rape is humilating enough for the victims.
Why does society protect the rapists and torture the victims?
Facebook could help with criminal behaviour because there is a large population in australia who are getting away with it
So where the Legal system fails technology could wipe out this soul destroying crime that costs people their minds and sometimes their lives!
Together with technology we can outlaw rape and its horrific effects on society and ensure the safety of our women who are children, mothers, lovers & sisters everybody belongs to somebody.