Most times I feel that raising my family is the most difficult thing in the world. It consumes me. It’s all uphill. I constantly question if I am doing ‘it’ right. I’ve always felt that I needed to fully apply myself in the art of raising a family.

Art is most often a difficult process, it can be messy, it can make you frustrated and the end result has varied opinions in the eyes of the beholder. But if the artist is pleased with their creation, then that is all that matters.

If you ask me if I am pleased with my creation, my family, I will tell you that it’s a little messy right now but I’m not finished yet. If you ask me when I’ll be finished, I will tell you that I have no idea. If you ask me if I had some pleasure along the way, I will tell you this:

When I look back on the years leading up to now, I see smiles, laughter, adventures and love. I see the struggles but I see love. I see that each one of us have had failures and successes and we have pulled together for comfort or celebration. I see that my children have raised me up as much as I have raised them. I see that the art of raising a family is painted with irregular strokes of the brush, written with typos, sculpted with inconsistencies, photographed with a unique angle of view but crafted with love.

At the end of the day I may feel like a tormented artist resisting sleep because there is still work to do. But I am certain that my work will not be finished until my whole family can look back with me and see the beauty of our masterpiece, with love.

“Family life is full of major and minor crises – the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career, marriage, and divorce – and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It’s difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul.” ~ Thomas Moore

Be sure to visit Kimberly’s blog!

My head is not easily turned by the latest diet fads – eat carbs, don’t eat carbs, eat fat, but not that kind of fat, stand on your head, don’t eat after 6:00 p.m. unless you live below sea level, etc. I have known for a long time that the “secret” to weight loss is this: expend more calories than you take in. How you do that is up to you, but it’s more about doing it in a healthy and sustainable way than about some miracle way of eating that will “unlock the secret to losing weight.”

Why then, do I find myself so drawn to the idea of detox diets? (Oh, not so drawn that I’ve actually ever tried one. Baby steps here, people.) There are endless variations on the detox diet out there, but the basic idea is simple: modern living, with its processed foods and environmental toxins, has left our bodies in a sorry state, burdened with chemical deposits that we have no way of ridding ourselves of and which may be harming our health. The detox diet generally emphasizes the consumption of only organic food (and often eschews solid food entirely and relies only on liquid nutrients), promotes foods high in vitamins and antioxidants, and emphasizes the consumption of large quantities of water and fiber in an attempt to rid the body of these toxins through the elimination of waste. The recommended length of the diet is usually somewhere between seven and 30 days. Advocates believe that we can “clean out our systems” by following one of these detox diets.

This ignores the fact that the body already has organs (the kidneys and liver) that function as filtering systems. But what about the people who report great results – increased energy, better skin, cessation of headaches – following a “cleanse?” Well, it may be that these people are regularly consuming things such as alcohol, caffeine and greasy foods in quantities that aren’t good for them. When they start a detox diet and eat and drink the stuff they should be eating and drinking all along, they feel better. There’s no mystery there. It’s not “toxins” leaving your body; it’s akin to ceasing to bang your head against a wall. Of course you’re going to feel better. Once you go back to your old bad habits, the negative side effects will return.

Are these detoxes harmful? Well, it probably depends on the specific plan one follows and how long they follow it for. Certainly, many of them seem to be missing some of the nutrients needed for optimal health. Some, with a few tweaks, could actually serve as a blueprint for how to eat healthy on a regular basis. Others are little better than starvation plans and can certainly do damage if followed for too long or too frequently. None of them, from a scientifically-proven standpoint, actually cleanse or detox your body in a significant way.

What’s the appeal? For me, some of the terminology is attractive – words like “flush” or “reset” suggest that I am actually going to be able to clean my insides, rendering them as pristine as a toddler’s. I just don’t like the idea of organs sitting inside my body, yet not really under my control. It’s a little upsetting for a worry-wart, slightly controlling, semi-clean-freak like me. It’s as if I knew there were dust bunnies under my bed but I had no capacity to access them, ever. So being told that I can, in fact, sweep up the dust bunnies, so to speak – well, it’s really an attractive notion. Even if I know better.

The other aspect that I think gets to some people – me included – is the idea of a quick fix. Sure, I may have made a mess of this body – drank too much, ate the wrong foods, lived in the city and breathed in the carcinogens lurking in the air. But there’s hope for me yet. I just need to detox and get all of the detritus of my bad choices out of my body, and then, when I’m as good as new, I will change my ways. If not, there’s always another detox!

Have you tried a detox diet? If so, how did it work for you?

Last week was a busy one for Kate Gosselin and those of us who follow her. Kate started the week on the west coast, where it was officially announced that she was one of the 11 cast members joining the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. In short order, we quickly found out that her partner would be Tony Dovolani. After seeing the two of them interviewed together, I think Tony is going to be a great teacher and mentor to Kate. I like their rapport – I think Tony’s positive outlook combined with Kate’s can-do attitude can only help them.

Later in the week, Kate and Tony were in New York City for more dance rehearsal and publicity appearances. In this clip, the two of them are interviewed while attending the premiere of Discovery Channel’s “Life.” (Does anyone else besides me remember the Gosselin movie night episode when the family watched “Planet Earth” – too cute.)

Kate is now presumably back in PA practicing in her newly created home dance studio while balancing her mom duties.

Many jokes have been made about the eight votes Kate is guaranteed from her little ones. Now, we can add a ninth – Jon’s. “Congratulations to Kate for joining the new season of DWTS. I am thrilled for her. She has my support and vote.” This statement was perhaps the highlight of a busy, but exciting week for Kate.

This Sunday ABC will air the 82nd Annual Academy Awards. This year marks an expansion of the number of Best Picture nominees, from five to 10 (five has been the standard number of nominees since the 1940s; before then the number of Best Picture nominees varied, with sometimes as many as 12 pictures nominated). You can see the nominees here.

Will you be watching? Any pictures or nominees you’ll be rooting for (or against) particularly?

I’ve only seen two of the Best Picture nominees, Up and Up in the Air. I liked both quite a bit, but since the front runners seem to be Avatar and The Hurt Locker, I’m not counting on either snagging a win. I’ve seen three of the Best Actor nominees: Jeff Bridges, George Clooney and Colin Firth. Bridges seems to be the favorite, and I’ll be happy for him if he wins, but my vote would go to Firth for his heartbreaking performance in A Single Man. I’ve only seen one performance each in the Best Actress and Best Supporting Actor categories, both from The Last Station. Christopher Plummer and Helen Mirren gave great performances as Leo Tolstoy and his high-strung wife; I would love to see Mirren win (though again, my favorites don’t seem to be the front runners: I believe the battle is between Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock for Best Actress, and Christopher Waltz seems to be favored for Best Supporting Actor for Inglourious Basterds, though I’ve also heard good things about Stanley Tucci’s performance in The Lovely Bones). Mo’nique is heavily favored for the Best Supporting Actress award for Precious; I haven’t seen that, but if I had my druthers I’d give the award to Anna Kendrick for her work in Up in the Air.

I tend not to have much of an opinion on the Best Director award except that it seems to me it should go to whoever directs the Best Picture winner. The buzz is all about a battle between ex-spouses James Cameron (director of Avatar) and Kathryn Bigelow (director of The Hurt Locker). Cameron’s arrogance is tremendously unattractive to me, and it would be awesome to finally have a woman win Best Director. So I’ll root for Bigelow, even though I haven’t seen her film.

Please share your Oscar-night plans (hosting/attending any parties?) and your favorites below!

Zak Fleming shares his adventures in “Silo Climbing.“

Don Briggs, University of Northern Iowa Professor and Cedar Falls resident, was helping a friend till his farmland back in 2001 and a line of silos caught his attention. Briggs, an avid rock and ice climber, pondered how he could turn those silos into a means to assist himself in pursuing his hobby in the middle of miles of flat land. He researched and perfected icing the silos for climbing and now, nine years later, people from as far away as China have climbed these silos. Briggs also teaches a Silo Climbing class at the University where students receive Physical Education credit for the course.

Imperfect Women recently had the opportunity to sit down and talk with Zak Fleming who recently completed the Silo Climb. Zak is 32 years old and lives in the Des Moines, Iowa area. He is physically active participating in ice hockey, rock climbing and skiing and recently completed the Climb Iowa- finishing in 11th place with a time of 6:19. Climb Iowa is a fundraiser on behalf of the American Lung Association where the participants race to climb Iowa’s tallest building. It is a vertical stair climb of 41 floors.

IW: Welcome to Imperfect Women, Zak and thank you for taking the time to talk with us. This is really a very unusual sport. What motivated you to want to complete this climb?

ZF: I ‘ve been rock climbing and doing some trekking and light mountaineering for years so when the opportunity presented itself, I jumped on it. We are also working on some bigger trips where we might have the chance to use some of these ice skills so I wanted to try it to see if I liked it.

IW: Where do you go to climb these silos? Is there more than one place to climb silos in Iowa?

ZF: The place where we went is on a farm just outside of Cedar Falls where the University of Northern Iowa’s campus is. They do have another location for students to climb if they take an ice climbing class, but non students climb at the 1st location.

IW: What kind of equipment do you need and how expensive is it?

ZF: You need cold weather gear, special boots, helmet, climbing harness, ice axes for your hands and crampons which are the pointed cleats you wear on your boots. The silo provides everything you need to climb with the exception of the cold weather clothing. It does help to have your own gear as I didn’t need to wait in line to climb like my friends, but for $25 you get to climb as much as you want and all the equipment.

IW: Is this considered a type of sport in Iowa and are people competitive?

ZF: Ice climbing is a sport in general. As far as climbing silos, I think it should be considered a sport just because there is a lack of natural waterfalls to climb in Iowa. We do have some places to rock climb but there are few places in the country to ice climb natural features. Many places are starting to “farm ice”- pun intended- to create an environment for people to try the sport. There is a collegiate climbing competition held at the silo in February. My climbing friends and I are competitive and we try to out do each other by doing more difficult routes and using better techniques but the climbing community is very laid back and we help each other get better at the sport.

IW: Was this your first time?

ZF: This was my first time ice climbing and climbing a silo. I climb at an indoor climbing gym 2-3 times a week and travel a little to climb in the summer so I felt I was well prepared. However, my experience didn’t help with this as I was tired in my first 30 feet. Somehow I managed to pull it out and finish the climb, once I relaxed and got a rhythm going.

IW: What was your time climbing the silo?

ZF: I’m not sure but somewhere around 15 minutes. It feels like an hour. I ended up climbing four different routes all successfully. Topping out was the only real goal for me.

IW: How cold was it the day that you climbed?

ZF: It was pretty nice. About 20-28 degrees F and no real wind chill. The sun was out in the afternoon and I got a bit of sunburn on my face. It’s cold when you are standing around watching but you generate a lot of heat when you are climbing. My clothes are pretty good for this type of thing so I was comfortable -but they have a climbers shack to warm up in and grab some snacks and cocoa.

IW: It looks like the silo is pure ice. Can you tell us about the actual climb up to the top and how difficult it is?

ZF: It is pure ice, the silo just gives the ice a place to grow just like a natural waterfall. It’s about 85 feet to the top and the ice gets a real pretty blue color when it’s thick. There is a lot of details to the ice that the pictures don’t show. It isn’t smooth like sheet ice, it is more like a collection of interlocking icicles. Its really quite beautiful and calming when you’re on it. Climbing takes a lot of energy and the key to getting to the top is to relax and not overwork. This sounds overly simple but you get tired from pulling yourself up with your arms. If you use your legs and stand up on your crampons then you only use your arms to keep your self on the ice. Over gripping is another challenge, everyone has a tendency to grip the ice axes too tight. This makes the blood flow in your hands decrease and they get tired faster. A relaxed grip is best and you only want to labor your arms and hands when you need to. This also keeps you warmer as the lack of blood flow in your hands makes them cold. Its the same principals as rock climbing but when I got on the ice I was so excited I forgot everything and tried to muscle my way up. In general it is a difficult sport and they say that very few people make it all the way to the top on their first try.

IW: Can you tell us anything about how they go about preparing the silo for climbing?

ZF: I was interested in this myself so I stuck around until they closed to watch them prep the ice for the next day. They have anchor points at the top of the silo with ropes that are used to belay climbers. At the end of the day they pull up hoses with custom heads built to spray the water evenly. Then they just turn on the water and let nature take care of the rest. They do hang old ropes on the waterfall to make columns and caves in the ice. The water runs down the ropes and the silo freezing to it and building up until it can support a climber, I would say 4-6 feet thick. These features make the climbing very interesting.

IW: To your knowledge, has anyone ever been hurt during the climbing of silos?

ZF: No. Climbing is inherently dangerous but climbing with a top rope is about as safe as it gets. I would say the biggest danger is from falling ice. If someone would stand or climb under another climber a piece of ice could hit them. I kicked off a piece of ice that was the size of a small garbage can. It probably weighed 35 pounds and could have given someone a real headache. Most people get small cuts or abrasions from the ice falling off their ice tools from above their head, but I cant say I know of anyone getting seriously hurt.

IW: Were there any women that climbed with you on this day and if so how did they do?

ZF: We did climb with some women. One of my climbing partners brought his daughter Tori. She is 17 and is just starting to climb so the techniques are new to her. She made it about half way to the top and stopped. There there were other women at the silo that day that did very well, topping out multiple times and using good techniques. I rock climb with several women, including my wife, and women make better climbers than men. Men have a tendency to muscle up the wall, not using good technique and lack the skills needed to do more difficult climbs. Women on the other hand are more flexible, have better balance and use the right techniques because of a lack of the same upper body strength as their male counterparts. As a person progresses to harder climbs, technique is more important than strength. It is a lot like yoga on a vertical surface and many climbers at my gym participate in yoga.

IW: Thank you so much Zak for taking the time to share this adventure with us. Do you have any new adventures planned in the upcoming months?

ZF: Actually the biggest adventure I have planned is becoming a father. My wife and I are expecting our first baby. Other than that I am planning a trip to go to Tanzania for an attempt to climb Mt Kilimanjaro in September. It should prove interesting to balance having a family and trying to satisfy my longing for travel.

Last week President Obama announced (on TV, of course) that he was blessing and signing new legislation call the PAYGO bill that ordered the House and Senate not to pass any new spending bills without a corresponding cut in another program or a new tax to pay for the cost of the bill. “We must do what every American family and small business does every day. Not spend what they can’t pay for.” (How he could stand there with a straight face and say that with the 14-month spending spree he just approved with borrowed money is beyond me.)

Less than a week after he signed the bill into law, a bill landed on the Senate floor costing $10 billion without a way to pay for it except for more borrowing. Senator Jim Bunning (Republican from Kentucky) correctly stated that “We cannot approve this bill as there is no way to pay for it and we just passed the PAYGO Law.” He refused to sign off on the spending bill without a way to pay for it.

You would have thought he killed the Easter Bunny. He was ridiculed by the Dems and even some of his own party begged him to relent (since the spending bill was not a written bill and was an “emergency bill” it need 100% approval.)

The hypocrisy of the other Senators was appalling. Forget what the money was for. They broke the law they just signed and should be held accountable. They ignore a bill they just passed and think we won’t hear about it. Thank God for Fox News. ABC, NBC and CBS had stories about his filibuster but all of them failed to mention the PAYGO bill that was just passed. Instead they pointed out what the money was to go for and how poor Americans were going to be hurt by the Senator’s selfish, self-promotion, grandstanding actions.

Are we ever going to get this spending controlled? I fear not.

Raising our family, my husband and I were able to gather all 4 kids around the kitchen table most evenings for a sit-down family dinner. We rarely zipped through fast food lanes, or ate dinner in front of the TV. With four busy kids, our calendars were full, but somehow, miraculously, 9 times out of 10, we shared an evening meal together. Everyone talked over each other as bowls were passed and countless glasses of milk were spilled. With four unique children (oh, how they are different!), with four very distinct likes and dislikes, there was plenty of grumbling around the table about the menu of the day. It was loud and chaotic. And at the time I had no idea how much I would miss it.

This past weekend, my son Dylan spent the night at a friend’s house – twice. My 17-year-old son Nick spent the weekend working or with friends – out of the house. It was a quiet weekend. And it hit me last night, when my husband asked “Are we eating at the table or in front of the TV again?” that I was really missing our family dinners. Busy work schedules and filled social calendars are keeping my two boys away from the dinner table.

But honestly, it’s much more than that. I’m missing the ordinary days. More than 20 years of ordinary moments that have created this family. I’ve been thinking a lot, lately, about my growing children, and the inevitability that one day soon my house will be empty of backpacks, stinky gym clothes, and clanging video games. It’s with mixed emotion that I think of the day when all will be quiet in the Morrison house. I’ve done this parenting thing a while, so I’m entitled to sigh just a little at the thought.

Somewhere between colicky babies and ornery teenagers, there were a lot of ordinary moments. Ordinary moments times four children. And I only wish I could remember them all. Rewind to a moment in time and replay it again. Sure, we took pictures duing school plays, baseball games and basketball championships, prom nights, and graduations — but it’s the ordinary moments, the child crawling into your bed at night because he had another bad dream, those are the memories I don’t have captured in an album. And there have been so many.

Need more Gwen? Check out her blog!

Manicure on the go? It’s possible! My new favorite beauty tool is Nicole by OPI Nic’s sticks. Nail polish in an applicator that resembles a pen, with a brush in one end and a button that pumps out the polish in the other. As someone who can paint the left hand- but the right typically looks like a 2 year old polished it- I love the easy to use applicator! My favorite shade is “Cram For An Exam”- something I haven’t done in a while.

Pros

* Superb brush control

* Shades range from traditional to funky

* No strong smell like some polishes

* Fast drying

* Glossy

* No spills

* Great for on the go touch-ups

Cons

* Doesn’t last as long as bottled polishes by OPI

I know women that have been wearing the same shade since high school! What’s your favorite brand/shade?