By Jane Warren

“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible — the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.”- Virginia Satir

My oldest son turns 23 this weekend. In some ways it seems like just yesterday he was in diapers, but in other ways it seems so long ago since we brought him home from the hospital. Today, he’s a college graduate, financially independent and a productive and responsible member of society – not to mention a very decent human being (if I do say so myself).

He came along right before my first wedding anniversary. My husband and I were both college students, young, broke, but working hard to make ends meet. We were so happy when our son arrived. I was barely 22, but determined to be a good parent and determined not to mess up this beautiful blank slate who’d just arrived.

In my view, my main role as a mom was to teach my son to be a well-balanced, productive, good person. From the beginning, even at my young age, I always had this end in mind and was keenly aware of the limited number of years I had to accomplish my task.

We lived in a small town and so I’m aware of some of the paths his high school classmates have taken. Some have taken to adulthood, gone to school, married and may even have children of their own by now. Others have ended up in prison, under-employed, battling with addictions to drugs and alcohol.

It really isn’t a secret as to how my son and his successful classmates turned out so well while others his age struggle with personal accountability and independence. In 90% of cases, these young adults come from families who taught them, from a young age, to take responsibility for their actions.

These parents, like my husband and I, were involved. We saw the same group of parents attend the school functions, but the parents of struggling kids were no where to be found. Parents of successful children undoubtedly helped with homework and modeled, on a daily basis, what responsible adult behavior looks like. We gave our children a chance to take on responsibility a little at a time, such as making it their job to throw out the wet potty pads for our puppies, and did not shield the children from natural consequences of their mistakes or allow them to place blame.

I saw these same parents helping out at extra-curricular activities, driving on field trips, volunteering to teach a class in 4-H or scouts, selling concessions at school sporting events. At the stores, I observed parents shopping with young children, who were often pushing very small shopping carts filled with food along side mom or dad.

Older children went to the store to pick up a forgotten item and learned to go through the checkout by actually doing it. High schoolers, my own included, shuttled younger siblings to and from friends’ houses. Some children in my area assisted their parents in the day-to-day operation of local businesses, often from the time they could walk and talk. The kids also pitched in to help with taking care of family and neighbors’ pets, from training and grooming to preventive care, and even had a contest one time on how to keep your dogs teeth clean!

Between watching us be responsible adults and actually having a chance to practice responsible behavior, carrying out tasks and duties reliably became second nature to our kids. As our children, imbued with confidence in their ability to function in the world, make their own way in the world, we proudly watch them spread their wings, knowing our hard work has paid off.

About the Author

Jane Warren writes about parenting, family life and pets. She loves to travel internationally, and participate in water sports, especially scuba diving.

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Remember that what you put into your body affects your health, and since junk food doesn’t really promote the kind of growth your body needs – for strong muscles, hair, skin, and that pesky immune system – you can cut it out of your diet and suffer no ill after effects.  In fact, you’ll undoubtedly feel better.  Also keep in mind that fat is easy to build, but far more difficult to lose.

Instead of pizza and hot wings, Oreos and cupcakes, why don’t you try a few of these options?

Healthy side dish.  Onion dip may be yummy, but if you substitute baked tortilla chips with low sodium salsa, you’ll cut right through the calories and boost your metabolism.  Black bean dip with red bell pepper strips is a tasty substitute for traditionally fattening dips (like spinach dip, which sounds healthy, but is mostly cream cheese) that will run you about 195 calories as opposed to, say, the 500 or so you get from two simple pieces of pizza.

Move around!  Sitting on the couch and yelling, while invigorating, isn’t going to help you burn any calories as you continually ingest them.  Take a break every few minutes to mingle with your guests (keeping in mind that some people actually do come to these parties to watch the game), or excuse yourself to stretch for a bit.  Just don’t miss the commercials:  that’s the best part.

Hydrate yourself.  Beer is a requirement for any Super Bowl shindig, but you can help yourself stave off that inevitable and annoying hangover and avoid racking up the calories by alternating each beer or drink you imbibe with a glass of water.  Not only will you stay hydrated, but your sobriety will improve and you’ll avoid any unpleasant DUIs once the party is over!

Watch those calories!  Just because there’s a lovely spread doesn’t mean you have to partake of everything before you, or in such big quantities.  If you feel like you won’t be able to keep control of yourself, mix up a shake made of whey protein before the party to stave off any cravings once the game starts … no matter how tempting those little sausage wraps may be.

Extra exercise.  So you actually want to watch the game – what are you going to do about all those calories?  Plan an extra workout before and after the game, which can be as simple as walking home.  You’ll burn off all that nasty food you ate and feel good about yourself at the same time!

Evan Fischer is a freelance writer and part-time student at California Lutheran University in Thousand Oaks, California.

UMICH.edu

After President Obama recently announced his plan to require that colleges and universities contain their tuition costs or face losing federal money, those heads of bastions of higher learning are all in a tizzy, citing over-involvement from the government.  But are their fears warranted?  After all, they have already been subject to severe state budget cuts in recent years.

And change isn’t that simple, according to Al Bowman of Illinois State, who feels that the deficit faced by most public schools cannot be so easily overcome.  He cited “fuzzy math” as part of Obama’s rationale for the plan, as decreases in state aid have made it a leap to tie federal support to tuition prices.  Illinois State, which has over twenty thousand students, has been forced to raise their tuition over forty five percent since 2007, from roughly $6,000 for an instate undergraduate to nearly $10,000.

Bowman’s response to Obama’s plan included his belief that the President assumes that universities should be more efficient, thereby operating with tinier state subsidies, and while more efficient states could be realized, those standards will be impossible to meet because of the loss of state financial support.

His suggestions include hiring more part-time or adjunct faculty and increasing class sizes, but that those efficient tactics would dilute the quality of education, which no one wants, especially as the U.S. has been roundly criticized as of late for lagging behind the rest of the global community, especially in the areas of math and science.

Mike Young, the president of the University of Washington, spoke out about Obama’s obvious lack of background knowledge or understanding of how the budgets at public universities function.  Universities are forced to tighten their belts, while the state is cutting subsidies and hiking up the cost of tuition to try to make up for extra efficiencies.

Obama’s plan, however, needs to be approved by Congress, which will be difficult to attain as partisan gridlock takes its toll.

During his State of the Union address, the President spoke about his many talks with university presidents who attempted to explain how technology has been helping to cut costs and spending, as well as course redesigns that are trying to get students out the door more quickly.  Obama spoke about his belief that, if more universities took these approaches, the end result would be more efficient and less expensive for everyone.

This announcement has been popular with students, however, who have complained about tuition hikes and the price of their loans for years.  Attending college has become so cost prohibitive that many Americans are questioning the value of higher education.  Of course, they may also turn to options such as applying for navy scholarships or undertaking a military education to help pay for school.  But for many, the army simply isn’t an option.

The bottom line for colleges and schools, according to President Obama, is that tuition hikes must stop, that they can’t assume that they’ll be able to make big increases every year.  Tuition prices must go down, the President said, or state funding will.

Evan Fischer is a freelance writer and part-time student at California Lutheran University in Thousand Oaks, California.

By Samantha

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

 ~ Sam Keen

February already? Our oldest child loves buying gifts for family members, making cards for her classmates and especially receiving Valentines in the mail… but for me February is a reminder that spring is around the corner. Even though winter has been very mild this year, I’m hoping that pesky groundhog doesn’t see his shadow. Whether February fills your head with thoughts of true love and candy hearts or cynicism for yet another “greeting card” holiday- this is your forum to chat and tell us what’s on your mind.