By Ann
Thirteen years. Or is it fifteen? How should I count them off? I think fifteen is more accurate. I should include his two preschool years. There have been fifteen First Days. Fifteen Meet-the-Teacher nights. Fifteen Picture Days. Fifteen years of women and men acting “in loco parentis” during the school day. And soon, we will count off our fifteenth Last Day of School. For my son, it can’t come soon enough. From his perspective, this was the longest year of his life. Once he took the SATs last year, and chose his college this year, he was ready, excited, to move on from his senior year of high school. He’s enjoyed his classes and his friends, but he’s “seen the light at the end of the tunnel,” and what he sees is more freedom and responsibility, less adult interference in his own life. He is ready to make his own decisions, set his own schedule, and figure out how he will contribute to society. Me? Not so much.
Where has the time gone? I can still see the little postcard Mrs. Shanton, the preschool teacher mailed him before school started to welcome him and say she was looking forward to seeing him in her class. I remember his first school craft, a little lamb cut-out covered with cotton balls. I see him sitting in time-out for laughing too hard when he and a pile of little boys bumped into each other and fell over (poor Mrs. Shanton.) For years his class visited the same little farm to pick pumpkins and milk cows in the fall. He was so excited to ride the bus to kindergarten, and appalled to ride it freshman year of high school. He loved to sing on stage in second grade, but was cranky about doing the spring program by fourth. He hated wearing a uniform to first grade, but just recently remarked how easy it is to always know what to wear in the morning. He looked so small sitting in his desk in sixth grade. By eighth, his teacher complained that she was always tripping over his feet. So many report cards, friends, lunches, teachers. I can’t believe it is almost over.
We rented the tuxedo for the prom this weekend. He’s not fussy. What’s most popular? Gray vest or white? Bow tie or long? What size shoe do you wear? It was easy. For him. For me, it was hard. I have to face the reality that my boy will be a man soon. Just a few weeks after prom, he turns 18. Then he graduates from high school, and he puts those uniforms, and picture days, and his 7 hour school days behind. I’ll never have to sign a test or permission for him to go somewhere again. He’ll start school again in the fall, but this time with an eye toward a degree that will help him pursue his career; his ticket to independence.
I’ve felt this before, this bittersweet feeling, regret and sorrow mixed with pride and happiness. There have been so many milestones to mark time passing, many accomplishments. This high school graduation feels poignant to my husband and me. This is our first child. The little one who first called us mom and dad. We’re happy and excited for him, but reluctant to let him go. That’s just another thing we’ll have to learn to do as parents and he’ll have to be the one teach us again.









Comments
17 Responses to Graduating Our First
Reading this Ann, brought back all the memories from last year. It really is a bitter sweet experience. Today I am helping her move home after completing her freshman year. This is another experience. She really isn’t my little girl any more. She is turning into a fine young woman.
Ann-
I’m crying for you. And for myself. Our little one will be 7 next month. I yearn for her baby days. I know how quickly these years have past and I know graduation day will come too quickly. Congratulations to you and to your son- I know its bittersweet, hopefully as it nears more sweetness will come.
Paula-
Completing freshman year- that’s a big deal
I know exactly how you feel Ann. I was there last year. You will get used to the new relationship with your son. It will take some time. It’s the natural progression of life.
Like Paula, my son’s coming home from his freshman year this weekend. I can’t believe how the time flew. The satisfaction is seeing our children grow into responsible young men and women.
Debbie-
I remember how unnerved you felt. I’m so glad the year has gone well and you have developed a “new” relationship. So glad he’s coming home this weekend!
Oh boy – I’m only on year 2! LOL! I cannot even imagine 15! Congrats to you Ann for doing such a good job with your son! Now you need to prepare yourself for the 16th first day preceded by the 1st day at college! Congratulations!
The other day I turned and realized that my son was almost eye to eye with me…when did that happen??? Then I realized…oh yeah…he’s almost 13. YIKES. I am having a hard enough time coming to grips with that.
Congrats to your son and family. I wish a smooth transition for you and your son. It’s the hardest thing to do as a mom is realize that if they are independent and thriving it means you have done your job, no matter how much you wish you could just swaddle them up in that receiving blanket again and hold them for hours. Time flies too quickly.
Thank you Samantha! A week after he left I was fine. I had difficulty coming to grips with our family life changing. I enjoyed it so much I did’t want it to end.
Thank you, Paula and Debbie, especially. It’s such a weird feeling, trying to boss this “kid” around. I’m happy for him, but have been trying to get in all the advice I think I forgot to tell him, lol.
Craftymom, guess what? Your boy is almost eye level now, and he’ll be two inches taller in 6 months. Get ready for the new food bills!
The other day I turned and realized that my son was almost eye to eye with me…when did that happen???~Craftymomof3
I remember that so well. It was so odd to have to start looking up to talk to the boys.
Graduation is such a special time. It’s hard to let them go. Even when you know they’re chomping at the bit, even when you know you’ve done your best to get them ready for that big world. I know it’s the way it’s supposed to be. We’re proud of the people they’ve evolved into but there’s that mother’s tug that says “Stay home w/me! and don’t grow up”. I know everyone says it, but it goes so fast.
Ann, You’ve got me reminiscing. The preschool project of little lamb cutout sounds so sweet. My oldest two have been out in the world for awhile. I remember the first outing w/my first. I bundled him up so much. I was terrified of him being cold even in the store. It seems like yesterday when I think about it.
Ann, you should be proud. Proud of your son and proud of the job you have done as parents. Oh, it’s so sad though. Sad and proud. I guess that sums up my feelings. You’ve got me all tearey eyed thinking about it.
Ann, when he comes home on break you won’t be bossing him around as much but you will be trying to figure out how to get him to eat his vegetables. LOL
Congratulations to your son and your family, Ann. Exciting times for all.
You are right, Ann, this is a learning experience for everyone involved and your son will guide you through this experience as much as your will guide him.
I sent two sons away to college. One 3 hours away and the other 7 hours. The second wasn’t any easier than the first for me maybe because it was greater distance and he was my baby. It was most definitely mixed emotions. I was sad because I knew I would be missing them and also our family life would change as we knew it. But I was also so excited for them both because I remembered going away to college and how much fun I had and what a great experience it was.
Best of luck to your son as he explores his new world.
The first is graduating! He is one of the nicest young guys out there. I can say this safely as his aunt! We just love him !
Aunt Rose
I’ve felt this before, this bittersweet feeling, regret and sorrow mixed with pride and happiness. – Ann
That captures my feelings as well.
My daughter is graduating high school as well this year. I don’t know where the time went either. Pre-school doesn’t seem so long ago and middle school seems like yesterday!
My daughter will be sticking close to home for college. We are still negotiating our roles as two adults. I know the day is coming soon when I won’t see her daily and I will need to trust her to run her own life. When she needs a mom though, I am there.
Best of luck to the fellow graduate!
And to your beautiful daughter to, Anya. Congratulations on making it through the whole thing! It’s as much as an accomplishment for us as it is for them, IMO.
Thanks, Aunt Rose!
Wow, Ann – bittersweet indeed. You never imagine when they are little and need you for every little thing that before you know it you are going to have to let them go. You should be proud of your accomplishment in raising a fine young man.
Ann, my son is graduating in just a few weeks, as well. Just the other day we rec’d a letter from him, sent from school — it was a “thank you Mom and Dad” letter. And wow, you can imagine that I cried and cried. Nick is a sweet young man, and we’re very proud of him, and to see the words “..thank you for allowing me to do what I want with my life” and “You are the best parents ever..” just sent me over the top. Not only do I love my son, I really LIKE having him around.
So congrats to you, and to all parents of graduating children— it’s a lot of work, but sooo worth it!
Congratulations to you, too, Gwen, and to Nick. Happy Mother’s Day, moms of little and big ones!
After about 7 years I ran into the preschool teacher, Mrs. Shanton, at a 5K this weekend. It was so nice to have her see the kids again.