This week Nightline aired an interview with Jesse James where he revealed details about his infidelity with Sandra Bullock and his stint in rehab after she left him. You can watch parts of this interview on the ABC News/Nightline website.
Jesse revealed in this interview that he was a victim of and suffered from child abuse. He reported that his father use to call him names and beat him with one beating actually resulting in a broken arm. Jesse claims that it was a loss of self- worth resulting from this abuse that caused him to cheat on Sandra Bullock.
In the interview, Jesse James said he went to rehab for sex addiction, anger management and to talk about his childhood. “The main thing I was there for was being a victim of child abuse,” James says. “My whole childhood I never had the chance to be a kid.”
Initially when this story broke, I just could not believe this man could be so…..um stupid. I just kept saying, ” What was he thinking?” Was his ego that big that he needed it to be stroked by all of these women. For crying out loud, he was married to Sandra Bullock. I mean when he married Sandra Bullock , it seems to me that he hit the “mother lode” when it came to relationships that would stroke one’s ego.
However, now I am thinking that maybe I should not be so hard on him. If he truly has all of this emotional baggage that he has never really dealt with, maybe I should cut him some slack.
What do you think? Do you feel sorry for him? Does the information that he revealed in this interview change your thoughts at all on his actions that caused the breakup of his marriage?
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16 Responses to Jesse James – Do You Feel Sorry For Him?
Being a miserable human being does not give you the right to perpetuate that misery. You make choices in life. A good choice would be choosing to be a survivor instead of a victim. Choosing to be a victim allows you to blame all of your bad choices on what you were a victim of. Placing blame on someone or something else is the easy way out. This man chose to let his …. umm, umm libido do his choosing for him instead of his head.
If I chose his way of thinking then I could blame every bad choice I have ever made on the fact that my father once swatted my butt for sassing my mother. Man, I will never, ever forget that and well LESSON LEARNED because no more sassing happened.
He needs to get rid of his sense of entitlement and simply take ownership of his choices. Man up, Jesse James!
No sympathy from me! I’ll save my sympathy for someone who deserves it.
Heck no. NOTHING justifies an affair in my opinion.
Nope! Not an ounce of pity.
It’s called impulse control, something these guys never mastered.
That kind of childhood is a tragedy- but not an excuse for adultery. Interesting justification.
His father and step-mother have reached the end of their rope with Jesse’s tales of woe. Their side of the story is quite different.
In truth, we don’t know what happened. But I think we’re all wise enough to understand that as adults we do not have the right to blame others for our behavior. Is there anyone who couldn’t spin a tale of some sort of trauma (real or imagined) that we could use as an excuse?
I remember hearing that you know you’re an adult when you stop blaming your parents for the way your life has turned out.
I totally agree with all of you and was just playing the devil’s advocate for the sake of discussion here.
My husband grew up with similar circumstance ( probably worse) than Jesse reports and has never used his childhood as an excuse for any of his actions. In fact, it is something that has helped shape the person he is today.
I remember hearing that you know you’re an adult when you stop blaming your parents for the way your life has turned out.
I know people in their 50s and 60s that continue to do so.
I do agree, if his childhood was one of abuse, it is a tragedy. Hopefully Jesse will continue to seek help for his addiction. I do believe it is an addiction. These women must have created some type of a “high” for him. But what a price he paid.
I tend to believe Jesse about the abuse. His sister corroborates it. His father and stepmother have good reason for being less than truthful.
I do feel sorry for him. He’s a human being, one who has done some bad things and hurt those who love him and whom he is supposed to love. His life is pretty much ruined for the moment, so it’s not like he’s getting away scott-free. A reason is not an excuse – he’s responsible for his behavior – but it does give some context to the behavior, if true. I didn’t see the interview, but I didn’t get the sense that he was trying to justify his behavior.
Maybe I’m just too much of a bleeding heart, but it’s rare for me to say that I have no pity for a person who is suffering, even if they have brought about their own suffering. I guess I feel a spiritual responsibility to try to be compassionate, though of course in some cases I find it harder than in others.
Anyway, I’m less bugged by the adultery, anyway, than by the Nazi stuff and some of the other unsavory allegations about James. The adultery, while I don’t approve, is really between him and Sandra Bullock, IMO.
I did watch the interview and I did have some compassion for him when I was watching it. He came across as sincere and seemed almost child like.
But I still can’t bring myself to feel “too sorry ” for him. I did think during the interview that he might be trying to use his childhood situation – not as a reason…. but more like an excuse.
It certainly seems like he is trying to get his life in order. Good luck to Jesse and his family.
I didn’t really know him before seeing him on Celebrity Apprentice and I did find him appealing on that. He does have a certain quality that could be called child-like – a sort of gentleness (which may be deceiving; I’m not saying that appearance equals reality) that perhaps engenders a protective feeling.
If he is trying to make excuses, that’s unfortunate, but I guess not surprising.
I have some compassion for him, although I am not sure this interview (even if everything he says is true) is a good idea.
I understand he doesn’t want to be the most hated man in America, but he doesn’t really owe us an explanation. And by sharing what he has, there is a chain reaction of his family feeling the need to come out and either dispute or back-up his assertions. I think it continues to put a media spotlight on him. Is that what he wants? Perhaps it is.
I do think he should consider his children as well and realize that putting this stuff out in the media is going to be something they will have to deal with too. I think he should at least be prepared to deal with that reality.
I agree that he has deep seated issues and I wish him well in moving past those, especially for the sake of his children.
I didn’t see the interview. Maybe if I had I would feel differently. Sex addiction seems to be the new Hollywood bandwagon for excusing bad behavior. I don’t know, I’m hardly qualified. But if it were Joe Schmo he would just be a jerk- not an addict. Seems to me that this is hardly the time for an interview- this is still pretty recent and in my ever so unimportant opinion- he should shut up out of some small amount of respect for Sandra. So you had a horrible childhood- and you handle it by hurting someone who really loved you? Good job. In my opinion it isn’t a reason- its an excuse. And he doesn’t owe the public an explanation, he just makes him self look worse in trying to explain it all. As Pam mentioned- plenty of people come from horrible pasts, and choose to be better . I still don’t get the reasoning behind childhood abuse and adult cheating anyway. What do I know?
Do I feel sorry for him………heck no!!! He took marriage vows and he broke them over and over. To be honest, I don’t really believe in all this ‘sex addiction’ stuff………you’re an adult, control yourself for heaven’s sakes. When they use that excuse they are in effect blaming their partner for not having enough sex with them, in my opinion.
Although I won’t go into it, I didn’t have much of a childhood myself, to tell you the truth but I chose to make my life better as an adult, and have moved on and away from all that……to give my children a better life than I had….and I did that.
I’m sorry, I’m just so tired of everyone screaming ‘I’m a sex addict’ when they chose to act like low class sleazbags……Tiger, Jesse……..anyone who gets caught cheating it seems……I’m expecting it outta Jon G any minute now.
I don’t feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for his children.
Jennie I agree with everything you said except this:
The adultery, while I don’t approve, is really between him and Sandra Bullock, IMO.- Jennie
I think adultery affects more than the two involved. It must hurt his daughter, and he and Sandra Bullock was in the process of adopting a child together. His adultery has changed their lives too.
Do I feel sorry for him………heck no!!! He took marriage vows and he broke them over and over. -Mariposa
Totally agree with you. I view the marriage vow as sacred. Just knowing you’re married should’ve been the red flag Jesse that what you were doing was wrong.
Why did he have to give the interview at all? He should be working this out privately, between him and Sandra, and his God.
I do feel bad for him for being abused as a child. No child should ever be abused. But, that shouldn’t be an excuse for his actions.
What can I say….BOO HOO!
Jesse will take the attention any way he can-even if it’s negative. Didn’t you hear…it’s only really about Jesse Jesse Jesse. The less said about him the better. Let him crawl back to his hole and hope he can find the error of his ways. Hey we all make mistakes but some (like Jesse) does not learn from them. Like I said…it’s all about Jesse Jesse Jesse!