By Kari
Here I go, dipping into another sort of self-revelation. A journey for me to figure out who I am and what is it I am put on this earth to be.
Hi, my name is Kari. I’m 28, single and living in Las Vegas. Let me tell you a little about myself before I delve into the main reason why I’m writing this blog. Born in Wisconsin, I had the most wonderful and humble upbringing by two amazing parents and a little brother, who not only pestered me every now and then, but is also one of my best friends. After graduating from college, I found myself going in a direction that I thought was for me, but turns out that gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach thought otherwise. Turns out it was right which led me to a wonderful year working on a cruise ship in Hawaii. After that, I decided that ship life wasn’t for me anymore, and so my boyfriend (ex-boyfriend now) and I packed our bags and headed to Las Vegas. Four years later, here I am, alone with my cat Diezel, and for the first time in my life, I am stuck!
Now don’t get me wrong, I am very blessed in so many ways it’s ridiculous. I have a supportive family, friends who make me laugh, a roof over my head, college education, and I’m healthy as a horse! But something in my life just doesn’t feel right. I have work, but don’t know if that work is my “calling.” I live in a big city, but don’t think this is “home.” You can kind of get the picture of where I’m heading now. Is this supposed to happen before you turn 30?!?!
One way I am trying to get myself out of this rut is by writing this post (which I hope will turn into many more posts to come). I’ve always been a private person but I feel putting myself out there might help free up any insecurities I may have and maybe help myself see the bigger picture on life. I’m not trying to make this into a pity party and if you think I need a therapist instead of blogging, then that’s completely legit as well. But, the only way I can get myself back on track, is by DOING. What I mean by that is instead of me just sitting here, wallowing about what if’s, I’m going to create opportunities for myself. Success doesn’t come when you just wait for things to happen to you. 2010 is going to be the year of finding me. No more excuses, no more thinking and dreaming about it, and certainly no more crying about it. I’m tired of being lost, stuck and confused!
Have you ever found yourself stuck in life? Not in sync with your destiny? Do you ever realize that there is something else out there for you and found it? I’m dying to hear if anyone has gone through this and how they found bliss in their life.
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17 Responses to Lost, Stuck and Confused
As a very wise lady advised me once!! Mary give yourself one minute for a pity party and then get up and start moving!! When those negative thoughts start creeping into your mind, be conscious and change your thoughts to something positive. Easier said than done!!! At 63 I’m still spinning at times!! ha ha
I find myself sometimes going to my room and covering my head with all my blankets wondering if I am making the right decision.
Life isn’t always bliss!! But your life is what you make out of it. You can choose to be happy or sad, positive or negative. Make each day count for something positive!! With that being said!! Today I am not going to spin!! I am going to make this day count as a positive move.
As for you Kari !! You are a beautiful girl, with a beautiful smile, and gorgeous eyes. You have a good education, and sounds like you are searching for Mr. Wonderful? He is out there!! Just relax and let it happen. He won’t be able to find you if you are spinning home alone. Get out and get involved in sports, or an activity you love. Remember be positive and smile!!! Let it happen!!
Hmm. I think a lot of people experience this Kari- happy, but not fully satisfied….. discontent, wondering what else is out there for you. And that’s okay- don’t feel guilty for wanting more out of a life that is yours. I hope you find what you’re looking for- I think you will- and I hope you take us along for the ride! Welcome to Imperfect Women!
Kari,
As your uncle I can only say that I find you to be a wonderful person who has everything going for her. Get out there and live your life and good things will happen. Stay home like me and you end up with 5 tv’s in one room with a head filled with trivia and too many Cheetos and Oreos in your future. You have been raised well and understand the right way to live your life. You will succeed.
Jeff you seem like an understanding loving uncle!! I think what Kari is feeling is that her biological clock is ticking and she seems to be spinning.
I was 28 when I married!! Kari, I should have waited!! ha ha I think most women feel that between the age of 26 and 30 they want to get married and start a family. If you are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. Mr Wonderful will walk into your life when you least expect him to. Just take a chance and enjoy your life.
You are normal Kari!! We all have the same feeling of discontent, and feeling of not being in sync with our destiny at times.
Hi Kari,
I’m “newly” 28. I grew up in a very small town & could not wait to move on after high school. I went to a college that none of my friends were going to, just so I could find the “real” me & not be pigeon-held into the person I was in high school or who my friends thought I should be. After completing my under-grad, I immediately started grad school- whoa Nelly put on the brakes! I was so burnt out, I completed 3 courses, packed my bags & moved 3 hours north of my hometown. I lived it up, so to speak. Boys came & went, jobs were plentiful & I enjoyed the $$. However, I wasn’t really *happy* I continued to working my full job & decided to go back to grad-school. I ended an un-healthy relationship ( read “Emily’s Reasons Why Not”) & began searching for a place to move once grad-school was completed. I decided to live life for me. No one else, no one else’s expectations, just what I wanted. I was struggling between moving to Augusta, GA & Charleston, SC. This was when Myspace was the “it” thing & I made a lot of friends in these two areas & was making my pro/con list. Life was trucking along & I had never felt more alive. Well wouldn’t you know it, in the midst of it all I agreed to go on a date w/a guy that worked down the hall from me- turns out he was “the one” for me! So 3 years & 2 babies later, I didn’t make my move to GA or SC (honeymooned there though!) but I did find myself along my journey & I feel that when I let go & let God, my life blossomed more than I ever thought possible.
Thanks for sharing your experience & your questions. I’m not really sure what you are looking for??? If you don’t feel Las Vegas is your “forever” home, Google the best places to live. I did an online quiz w/my likes & dislikes and that’s how I narrowed my search down to places that fit my personality, set goals that are attainable & I feel that through these steps you may start to find the part of you, that you feel is missing.
Good luck
Kari, I very much enjoyed reading about your journey up until now and all the responses.
I remember some of these feelings started hitting me a couple of years before my 30th birthday. (30 is hard for those of you who haven’t been through it. 40 was a piece of cake in comparison, IMO). I agree, however, that some of the questions you are asking yourself are really life-long questions that those of us at at all stages ask ourselves – as Samantha said —-”what else is out there???”
I urge you to continue to explore what makes you happy. Things do become a bit more complicated once you are settled with a family and a secure job (I speak from experience). I think it’s great that are reaching out of your comfort zone. That’s a great step.
You obviously have a lot going for you and I hope you will keep us up-to-date as you continue your search.
I’d rather poke my eye out — just wanted to mention I enjoyed reading about your experiences as well. You have accomplised a lot in 28 years. You should be proud of yourself!
Kari,
First I want to say that you are a beautiful girl and that’s not just on the outside. Life is definately about the twists and we never end up where we thought we were going to be. I think the trick for us is to keep believing in ourselves and staying positive. I know for myself I have spent more that a bit of time questioning why my life has taken me to this point. I have no real words of wisdom for you. I wish I did as 30 is looming before me as well. All I really have for you is my love and support.
Kari,
Im so where you are right now. I’m close to your age and I feel the exact same way. No matter how much I accomplish in my life, I always feel like something is missing.
Sometimes it’s interesting to just sit with those thoughts for a minute….
2010 is going to be the year of finding me. No more excuses, no more thinking and dreaming about it, and certainly no more crying about it.
You are ahead of the game already with that philosophy. To tell you the truth, I never experienced this problem in my twenties. Of course, that was 30 years ago and times were different.
I attended college and graduated with a degree in Nursing , married and had a child by the time I was 26. Nursing is one profession that when you enter it you pretty much know what you will be doing, at least for the first several years.
I understand how it feels to have graduated in a field like marketing or communications and struggle a little with what you want to do professionally.
I think I found myself stuck in life more in my thirties, when I said -”Do I really want to be a nurse?” Is there something more out there for me? At that point I changed jobs from working as a Critical Care Nurse to going into the field of School Nursing. The state I live in required that I go back to college for a post graduate degree and I decided to do so. It was the best decision that I ever made and it was the change I needed at the time. Was it easy? No. I had two small children, was working a new job as a School Nurse and still keeping my skills updated by working part time at the hospital and going to school. But I am so glad that I did so.
I think it might take some time for you to figure this out Kari, but I know things will fall in place. Welcome to Imperfect Women and I look forward to you sharing your journey with us all.
I can assure you, Kari, you are not alone. I was working this week with a younger colleague, 28 years old, and she described herself as something very similar to “lost, stuck, and confused.” I really like Poke’s advice to “Let go and let God.”
Hi Kari! I agree that we’ve all been where you’re at now. The only advice I’d give is to trying to focus on the pieces rather than the whole – the big picture can be overwhelming. If you want to make changes in your life, make them one at a time, and let yourself see how you feel about them. Maybe it’s my cautious nature, but I just think biting off too much change at once is a mistake.
Don’t worry so much about finding the real you. That’s a lifetime process. Where would the fun be if it wasn’t? Though I totally understand wanting to get more in tune with your goals and dreams.
No offense to anyone who loves it, but I’m not sure Vegas is the place for someone who doesn’t love it. But I hated my one visit there and now the very mention of it depresses me, so I’m probably not the person to go by.
HI Imperfect Women!
Thank you all so much who commented or read my post “Lost, Stuck and Confused.” I have to admit, I was a little hesitant about putting this post out to the world. But, after reading everyone’s comments, it reassures me that I am not at all alone and that everyone has gone through this at one point or another. I definitely plan on blogging some more for this amazing website so stay tuned…..
Sincerely,
Kari
Hi Kari-
I also am 28. I went to college, found a job I loved and met the man of my dreams… it was perfect, but he was military- so when he came back stateside, I had to decide my career or him. I chose him, and we have been married 6 years and have a beautiful girl and boy (little did I know when I quit my job I was pregnant)! I know if I hadn’t quit my job I probably would only have my daughter…not sure where my marriage would be, etc. I have traveled a little, but I have not done everything I would like to yet, but I know I still have time.
I am happy being a mom and a military wife, but I am now trying to get my career back on track and it’s a challenge, especially when your family is not around to help and you need daycare at all hours of the day- not just during the day. I think what would have happened if things were different, but I cannot take back the joys of my children and a strong, partner who is there for me when I need him. Now I am 28 and trying to decide to go back to school or move closer to family and pursue the career of my dreams.
Missy- I’m also a military wife, 28 & a proud mommy to two little ones! I completely understand the career/child care struggles~ I’m in the same boat as you right now.
Godspeed!
I think that life is full of challenges. If one becomes totally satisfied!! Then what is left? At 63 I am still not satisfied with my life. I want to do more, and learn more.
I am happy with my life, but not satisfied. I hope I continue to challange myself!!
But, the only way I can get myself back on track, is by DOING. What I mean by that is instead of me just sitting here, wallowing about what if’s, I’m going to create opportunities for myself. Success doesn’t come when you just wait for things to happen to you.
Kari, your first action was writing your post. That was a brave thing to do. I hope you write more in the future because that would mean you are experiencing more wonderful scenarios and happenings in your life.
You are also brave in realizing that you need to do something about creating opportunites. then, you must DO them. Get out of your comfort zone. That’s when you’re challenged the most. That’s when you will feel alive. Action is a must. You can say and write about something many times over, but if you do not act on your ideas, then your time is wasted and you won’t get results or at least something more interesting.
My good friend and mentor told me in the early years of my career….if you keep doing the same old same old, you’re not going to get anything. You need to create and ACT on your ideas and thoughts. You must go with your gut. Personally, I believe that when one “goes with their gut” that it is God leading you on your path. That’s just my beliefs, not trying to push religion or anything.
I wish the best for you Kari. You are well on your way to discovering what you want in life. Don’t stop or give in.