heidi klum seal divorce 300x222 Love Is In The Air; Unfortunately, Its Toxic

By Jennie

Hello, gossipnistas! Doesn’t it feel like in these dreary days of midwinter, the news is nothing but bad? First Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis break up (well, reportedly), and now Seal and Heidi Klum? And we’ve barely recovered from the death of Katy Perry’s 14 minutemonth marriage to Russell Brand or, dare we say it, the katastrophe that was Kim Kardashian’s marriage (will we ever get tired of making fun of the Kardashians by randomly starting words with “k”? Knot likely).

Anyway, fans are especially especially devastated about Seal and Heidi. Who will get custody of the Halloween parties? How can people who renew their vows every 3.5 days 12 months not make it? Don’t they have like 27 kids together? Sadly, sometimes people act really happy when they aren’t. Or, they’re really happy for a while, and then they aren’t. (Personally, I lost respect for Seal last year after reading about his paid attendance at a birthday party for a notorious Chechen warlord. This became big news because others, including Oscar-winner Hillary Swank, also attended. Swank, whom I can’t stand, at least later apologized, but Seal seemed defiant about the whole thing. Yuck.)

But this is far from the only sad news in the world of the lovelorn. Demi Moore has checked into rehab. Depending on which report you read, she’s either “exhausted” or anorexic, or possibly overdosed on nitrous oxide. I don’t know about you, but to me, inhaling nitrous oxide sounds like something her kids should(n’t) be doing; it doesn’t sound like the drug of choice for a 50-year-old woman. Oh, well, I guess there’s no age limit on bad judgment…

…speaking of which, which decision of Rihanna’s is stupider: to get “thug life” tattooed on her knuckles, or to (reportedly) still be seeing Chris Brown, who famously beat the crap out of her a couple of years ago? Do we have to choose? Both actions show really, really bad judgment on Ri-Ri’s part. Ugh, get it together, girl.

Halle Berry’s baby daddy Gabriel Aubry was accused this week by their daughter’s nanny of shoving her during an argument, while she was holding 3-year old Nahla. To be honest, we always sort of doubted Halle’s various claims against Gabriel; she seems rather neurotic and high-strung. But this does make us wonder. Pretty is as pretty does, model dude.

Finally, a little levity (I guess, unless you are really easily upset): Miley Cyrus continues to shatter our illusions that she’s just an innocent young girl by mugging with a penis cake (don’t ask) at a birthday party for her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth. Keep it classy, Miley. Somewhere, dad Billy Ray’s mullet is sad and his heart is achy-breaky. (You’re welcome for the earworm.)

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