Written by Samantha –
(The best of IW – Practically Perfect revisited)
My dishwasher hates me. It’s true. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that appliances don’t have the ability to hate or plot these little “malfunctions”. That false sense of security is how they’re able to sneak attack. Most of the time my dishwasher does what I ask of it. Well, sort of. I still have to pre-rinse everything and hand wash the silverware and glasses or they come out covered in water spots- but I’ve come to terms with that. On some days however, “it” as I’ve resentfully dubbed it, has a very skewed idea of what washing my dishes should entail.
About once a month, typically on a day when I’m feeling fairly confident that my dishes will be cleaned without incident- my dishwasher attacks me. Don’t scoff, it’s true. It very quietly pours water out all over the kitchen floor. Hoping that when I go back into the kitchen, trusting soul that I am, I will slip and fall and break any number of body parts. My husband is convinced that this happens because of something I did wrong during the loading process- poor naive man. I’m happy to report that it hasn’t gotten me- yet.
Granted there have been some very close calls. The most recent “attack” was a couple of days ago, while I was chatting on the phone with my sister. It likes to wait until I’m distracted. All of a sudden my feet flew out from under me. I had to grab the handle of the refrigerator door to keep from going down on my back. I wasn’t hurt this time, but I was left with a floor full of water to clean up and I swear “it” smirked at me.
So let this be a warning: the next time your oven burns the dessert you worked so hard on (even though you know you just checked it), or the washing machine decides that it doesn’t like doing laundry, or your alarm clock tires of waking you, or your computer “freezes”, or your hairdryer goes out on you when you’re already late for work. . . . . know that it’s not your fault. Your appliances are plotting against you.
Loading ...
Comments
7 Responses to MY APPLIANCES ARE PLOTTING AGAINST ME
My washing machine does the same thing to me! You might be on to something here. lol
I swear my laundry dryer hates me. Every so often it doesn't want to dry my clothes but when the hubby comes home and checks it of course, it works for him. I could pull my hair out it drives me crazy. I always get the one question have you checked the vent? I may be an airhead at times but I'm not stupid. At least, I don't feel so alone about appliance malfunctions. I thought it was only me.
I knew it ladies! I think they have secret meetings when we aren't home….. maybe my next piece piece will be about where all the socks go. Two go in- one comes out. It's a mystery. . .
All my appliances and I are good friends, they all work hard and produce good results, every once in awhile they call in sick but for the most part, I have no complaints. Now my computer is another story, we are at odds all the time! It's very much a love/hate relationship! I love spending time with it, but it is always pulling some stunt on me! I can't even begin to count the number of swear words this machine has caused my mouth to spew forth.
I loved this piece. Now I know all these 'mishaps' over the years aren't my fault! Technology – you can't live with it, you can't live without it!
This is still funny and yes my washing machine got me last week., the hose had a hole in it and flooded the laundrey room. I hate when that happens!!!
We always said those things were gremlins (way before the movie). I still say that for those instances when an appliance goes haywire. There’s just no other explanation … or, it’s all designed that way in the factories to slowly drive us crazy.
