Have you ever been in mixed company in a social setting where the conversation took a turn toward politics? What about when someone brings up religion or mentions that they go to Church at a social engagement. How do you feel when education becomes the main course at the table of your neighbor’s dinner party? What is your gut reaction?
My gut reaction is to head for the hills as fast as I can. However, if I am unable to politely excuse myself, I sit there running images of banging my head up again the wall or poking my eyes back in my head till my eyelids flip inside out.
There are some people who feel comfortable engaging in playful dialogue discussing what government should do differently – till it becomes a heated debate due to a strong opposition of their views. There are some people who feel justified in speaking about God and are quick to tell you that you’re going to hell in a hen basket if you don’t turn your life over to him – that usually sets the stage to start a blood bath in a holy war if anyone challenges this one. There are some highly evolved people who will exclude others from discussions because they think they won’t comprehend the conversation – till they realize there’s nobody left to listen to them.
I’m not saying that I don’t have opinions, I do. I’m not saying that I don’t voice my opinions, I do. But I’m learning that the best times to speak out is not when I’m in a social environment with mixed company. Nobody ever wins when zoning in on these subject matters – they are unwinnable. Someone always ends up angry, sad, embarrassed, belittled, ridiculed…and on goes the list. Perhaps if I want my voice heard I should direct it toward the Government, the Church and the Board of Education.
I’m not making any promises but the next time I’m asked what my opinion is on politics, religion or education at a social get-together…I’ll be saying, “No comment.” I think I’ll stick to the less controversial subjects like plastic surgery.
“Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.” – Anonymous
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Great post! We are on the same wavelength, for sure…although I am likely more of the “put foot in mouth” kind of girl, I’m guessing. I would, and do, head for the hills if the topic of religion or politics comes up. I’m not willing to go there. Some things are probably best left unsaid, sometimes.
Some things are definitley best left unsaid in a lot of social situations! I am not able to discuss politics with many people of opposing views without getting really irritated, its just not worth it. As far as my faith goes, if I’m with people who share my faith then its sometimes a topic- otherwise I pretty much leave it alone unless they bring it up. I totally agree Kimberly!
Kimberly, I very much agree with your POV.
Another angle of the dreaded political discussion is being with a group of people where it just assumed that everyone shares the same political philosophy– aka “Bush is an idiot”, “Obama is dangerous”, etc. etc. Such discussions make it hard to speak up, even if one is inclined to!
I have had my fill in recent years of the nastiness and belittling that both sides of the political divide often engage in. I think there is something to be said for “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” That doesn’t mean stifling your opinions – rather just choosing the right time, place, and way to share them.
As for religion, I have been lucky. I haven’t known people in my life to be obnoxious about it. I think it’s just fine for someone to share that part of their life with others. I wouldn’t want someone not to talk about it with me if it’s important to them. I just don’t want to be lectured, preached to or treated like a personal project for conversion.
People who go on and on about education – bragging and using unnecessary big words — zzzzzz’s!
I just don’t want to be lectured, preached to or treated like a personal project for conversion
Drat! There goes my pet project for 2010. Thanks alot Anya. Now I’ll have to take up knitting.
“Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.” – Anonymous
Love that quote. I will need to remember that.
I work for a school district in a very liberal state. We have a very strong union and for the most part the majority of teachers in this district have more liberal views. I tend to be more conservative and lean to the right. I can not tell you how many times that employees where I work automatically assume that everyone in the cafeteria or in a faculty meeting have the same political point of view as they do and will openly demean and make fun of anyone who thinks differently not realizing that quite possible not everyone in the room “is on the same team” so to speak.
So many times I have had to strain to keep quiet or get up and walk out of the room so that I don’t get into a heated discussion. I am more upset with their arrogance than with their point of view.
Arguments regarding religion do not come into play too much in the crowds that I hang out in so that has never really been a problem.
My family members and my husband have different political views and I always have to remind him to “keep quiet” when we travel back home. For the most part he does but I have one brother who likes to push his buttons a little. With age, my husband has learned to ignore it.
My gut reaction is to head for the hills as fast as I can.
Ha ha, me too. My husband and I have similar views, but he is much more intense and ready to debate. That has mellowed over time for him, too. In the past, I did leave the room when he and his mother were talking politics or religion. His siblings still laugh about his willingness to enter into it with her. They have found out since, straight from her, that she always enjoyed the debates, and he was the only one who would go there with her. Unfortunately, the political divide has broadened to the point where no one wants to talk about it.
I know differences make life exciting, but I end up feeling deflated, depressed…don’t know exactly how to describe it, when I realize how differently we all see the world. I have a liberal view of the world, influenced by family and friends and ???… I don’t know what else influenced me. Just from discussions on this site, though, it seems that there are many areas where being liberal or conservative does not keep us from coming to the same conclusions about many subjects. There have been a few, like in the Our World section, where differences became more obvious and things felt a little heated, even through the computer. I’m glad people “speak up” on this site, although typing a response gives us more of a chance to edit our comments than when we’re facing someone across the dinner table. It is easier here than in person, but my heart does race every now and then on certain subjects. And sometimes I’ve headed for the hills
.
My husband always says, “never argue about religion or politics, you’ll never win.” I agree.
As a former teacher, I can not begin to count the number of people who told me how lucky I was to only work 9 months out of the year and to get paid for working 12 months. My reply was always a smile and an I know.” No argument possible.
I think I like arguing, though I know I have stifled my own thoughts for the sake of peace. I will only debate if I think I am not hurting others’ feelings. I do try to acknowledge when I have crossed a line and apologize. On that note, I’ll ask forgiveness for any past offenses from anyone thinking, “She still owes me anapology.”
I come from a family of people who “discuss” heatedly, but we mostly share the same oinions. One of my brothers-in-law, after observing a family “discussion” at Easter announced he’d never before seen people who agreed on every point get so heated by the “debate.” My husband and kids are the opposite. They prefer peace and the security of their own opinion. I have found my need to “discuss” is satisfied here on the Internet, and they never have to bother with my opinions. I just remarked tonight to my husband, in the middle of another debate online, that he has no idea how much of my need to debate is satisfied online. He smiled and said he certainly did. He remembers life before blogging, lol.
MaryNGG, I also understand that deflated feeling you described. I have reached that point too. I have been asked more than once to explain myself, and when I do, I am asked why I care so much. Ugh. Just because I debate does not mean I am all that invested.
That’s share opinions. It looks like onions.
I don’t share the same political or religious views as most people who live in my area it would seem. We have a lot of born agains and devout Republicans who are willing to get very intense about something they know little about, Obama’s “death squads” for example. My county though voted for bama so I know there are closet liberals out there, they just don’t appear as often or make as much noise.
It would seem that as with most things, those who are the most vehement and opinionated on either side are also the most ignorant, probably because they are not really secure in their views because they are parroting what someone else said and haven’t done the thinking to actually come up with their own well reasoned opinion so they cover it with bluster and scoffing at anyone who differs.
For that reason it’s difficult to discuss anything with them without offending them or making them feel you don’t respect their thinking or think they are ill informed. So for me it’s best to not have those conversations socially because everyone is the loser. It’s possible for people of good will to have opposing views on things and I try to keep the conversation to things on which we all more or less agree or don’t disagree too much. That way we have a bond of friendship and in case the subject does turn to religion or politics we can agree to disagree or to not discuss the topic, without acrimony.