My husband has been working long hours & I just had this conversation w/my mom last night. I told her I needed to talk to someone about something other than pooping& eating, because that’s all my daughter wants to talk about

That’s the best way to approach it, Pam. I would definitely do things differently. In fact, I have. My poor oldest was my “trial and error” kid. of course, what I consider my mistakes are different from what they consider my mistakes!

Poke, you are doing the right thing spending these days with your children. It’s not just about making memories, but also to really enjoy them while you can. Your description of your daughter’s expanding vocabulary reminds me of those little joys when the baby learns something. I loved staying home with mine when they were babies, though I know there were tedious hours waiting for their dad to come and provide some thing interesting to talk about.

Recently, my grandmother passed away at age of 92 and my mother called me a few days later and said that her mother — who had 11 children — asked her kids on her death bed if they were all going to be okay once she was gone. Even at her age, with children in their 60s, she wasn’t leaving this earthly world until she knew each one of them was going to be okay. The worry never ends. Morale of the story, right?

I’m just glad I’m not alone in all this. Thanks for the comments ladies!

I remember their later teenage years fondly. But, there were only two of them (then) and very close in age. Our talks took on a different level, they could watch more movies w/us, it was more relaxed and had a more friendly feel. Not that we didn’t have to stay on our toes, but as they were moving in to adulthood we could loosen the reigns and we enjoyed each others’ company. Believe ;me, they were still gone a lot and behind closed doors. I still had the place I went to in my mind whenever they talked about video games. I would know when to go “wow”. (I hope they don’t read this, but come one..for hours and hours from when they were little). But, it was a new stage of their lives and knowing it was their last years at home made it special. It was hard to separate and to watch them fall. You’re right, you can’t be there to catch them. But, if they need you, you can be there while they pick themselves up. I noticed I had more and more free time and started looking for things that were of interest to me. I had always had my own interests, but all of the sudden I wasn’t having to squeeze the schedule to fit everything in. Now, I’m doing it again w/ my last little one and trying to remember how I did it years ago.


Tall children get kidnapped, too, I warn him as he rolls his eyes.~Gwen
I love that. It’s hard to go w/the flow. There are some things. I was terrified when it came time for them to drive. Although, I couldn’t wait not to be the chauffeur all the time. It was the hardest thing to let them get in the car alone. I did it, we started them out on short trips, etc. etc. But, oh, it was a struggle to be be normal about it. I knew what kind of crazy drivers were out there. I remembered, as a teenager myself, every stupid thing I ever did in a car. Oh my, how am I going to go through that again?

Even even as I hang onto the threads that I know will bind us forever, I know that I need to let go just a little more. I know that even though I see them falling, I can’t always be there to catch them. And maybe, I shouldn’t (as long as it’s a short fall). It’s the time spent healing, recovering from the “fall”, that makes you stronger.

Samantha, I didn’t know the story of how you left home. At 20, most of us don’t yet have the wider and more nuanced perspective that Pam is talking about re: our parents, do we? Yet, your mom clearly raised a very determined and indepedent person for you to leave what was familiar and follow your heart. And at 20! You were just a baby!