Written by Gwen Morrison
Raising our family, my husband and I were able to gather all 4 kids around the kitchen table most evenings for a sit-down family dinner. We rarely zipped through fast food lanes, or ate dinner in front of the TV. With four busy kids, our calendars were full, but somehow, miraculously, 9 times out of 10, we shared an evening meal together. Everyone talked over each other as bowls were passed and countless glasses of milk were spilled. With four unique children (oh, how they are different!), with four very distinct likes and dislikes, there was plenty of grumbling around the table about the menu of the day. It was loud and chaotic. And at the time I had no idea how much I would miss it.
This past weekend, my son Dylan spent the night at a friend’s house – twice. My 17-year-old son Nick spent the weekend working or with friends – out of the house. It was a quiet weekend. And it hit me last night, when my husband asked “Are we eating at the table or in front of the TV again?” that I was really missing our family dinners. Busy work schedules and filled social calendars are keeping my two boys away from the dinner table.
But honestly, it’s much more than that. I’m missing the ordinary days. More than 20 years of ordinary moments that have created this family. I’ve been thinking a lot, lately, about my growing children, and the inevitability that one day soon my house will be empty of backpacks, stinky gym clothes, and clanging video games. It’s with mixed emotion that I think of the day when all will be quiet in the Morrison house. I’ve done this parenting thing a while, so I’m entitled to sigh just a little at the thought.
Somewhere between colicky babies and ornery teenagers, there were a lot of ordinary moments. Ordinary moments times four children. And I only wish I could remember them all. Rewind to a moment in time and replay it again. Sure, we took pictures duing school plays, baseball games and basketball championships, prom nights, and graduations — but it’s the ordinary moments, the child crawling into your bed at night because he had another bad dream, those are the memories I don’t have captured in an album. And there have been so many.
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Tags: family dinners, family life, Gwen Morrison, Motherhood, ordinary moments, Parenting, the gift of an ordinary day
Gwen, this piece really spoke to me. I am such a fan of your writing, by the way.
I have an 18-year-old daughter. An only child. I have to confess there are nights I appreciate the quiet and freedom that comes when she is away from home, but yes – I do have mixed emotions when she is away – loneliness creeps in. I love having the time and quiet to read a book, clean out my DVR or even go out, but it comes at a price – as all things do.
It’s very impressive that you have kept up with the family dinners (no easy feat IMO). I am sure there will be more of those to come, even as your children make their own way in the world.
Gwen,
I am 54 years old and when I look back at my own childhood memories it is the ordinary days and moments that I remember the fondest. Sunday nights watching Ed Sullivan, every evening eating supper together, working in the fields together in the summer, cartoons on Saturday mornings, Friday nights going to town and getting to eat at the local diner…… I could go on and on. I hope my children look back at their ordinary days and moments of childhood with the same fondness.
Anya, thank you so much for your kind words! With four kids, it has been tough at times to get them all around the dinner table. Some nights the clock strikes 8 before we actually get to sit down at the table, but it matters so much to me. More than I even thought it did. So, I’m trying very hard to hang onto those few hours where we’re all in the house together.
And, I’m trying to remember to appreciate the ordinary days of NOW, as I know they will be gone in a flash.
Gwen I agree with Pam. As I read your article it also just gave me warm and fuzzy memories of my own family dinners growing up. Thanks for sharing with us.
I agree that the ordinary moments are really the best memories: playing dolls with my sisters, watching Tv together, summers swimming in the pool, noisy suppertimes with the lefties on one side and the righties on the other. As a mom, I do miss having small ones and the everyday schedules. Just today, before reading this, I was talking to my 15 year old daughter about the lunches I made for her in elementary school and how they changed over the years. I enjoyed the challenge of preparing those menus…
Recently our little family watched FIVE seasons of LOST downloaded from Netflix together. It was too much for any one of us to watch the whole way through, so we watched some together, then others apart and filled each other in on what happened. I can’t tell you how much we all enjoyed this, not only watching together, but answering questions about episodes we saw for the others. It has been awhile since we have all been active in the same thing because the kids are at different stages and have different interests. It isn’t so much that LOST is a fantastic show (for me it’s like a sci-fi soap opera) but it was just so nice to be together through the story line. Also, no one else that any of us know was at the same part of the story as we were. We bonded again over LOST.
Wow Ann, that is JUST how I feel, when we can ALL do things together. My son is graduating from high school this year, has a job, friends, anda girlfriend. He comes home late most nights and he’s off to bed. Yesterday, all four of us made a rare trip to the mall, and it was the best part of my weekend. We laughed and talked, going from the mall to the pet store, then on to pick up a few groceries. Now, the mall is NOT my favorite place, but it was the fact that we were together, talking, sharing stories, people-watching and cracking jokes — that’s what made it special. We got home, made dinner, and watched a movie together. It was awesome. I don’t think my kids realize how much those moments mean to me.
I have a 6 year old and I miss her toddler days so much. I can only imagine 10 years from now. Thanks Gwen for sharing with us, as always!
Anya my daughter is 19 and a freshman, living on campus. This was a huge adjustment. Cherish all those years, even the teens because empty nest creeps up fast!
My children are 12 and 15. I miss those days of ordinary moments. They seem to be as busy as ever but not needing me for all the things they are busy with. I can remember feeling like ‘will this relentless needing me ever stop’ and now I’m missing it….a lot.
Gwen, this was a reminder that things change and the kids do grow up. It helped me to bring those special and ordinary memories to the fore front of my mind today. It made me smile.