Written by Amanda
This is a teacher’s perspective on how to make the upcoming school year successful.
Parent/Teacher Relations
I love your child. Even if they can make me crazy, I do love them. I think about them all day long, worry about them and miss them when I don’t see them.
I appreciate all parents. I know parenting is really hard work. Combine that with other commitments, and I don’t know how you stay sane!
I appreciate you keeping in touch with me. I know that can be hard (on your end and mine) but touching base really helps us understand your child better. Please come to me if there is a problem. I know it can be uncomfortable, but I want to try and solve it right away. It can be uncomfortable for me, too!
Please contact me first, before contacting the principal, if you have a problem. There are extreme cases where the principal needs to be contacted immediately, but most issues can be resolved with me first. Going to the principal first makes us feel a) blind-sided b) like you don’t trust us and c) it makes more work for the principal, when it probably was simple enough for me to take care of. I am more aware of the situation than the principal.
Remember, being fair doesn’t mean being equal to all. I will be fair at all times, but there are different situations for each student.
For better or for worse, your child probably acts differently when you aren’t around. I am astounded when I see students with their parents. They typically, not always, act very differently than they do at school.
I know it can be hard, but try and read the notes sent home. I know you are bombarded but it is very helpful if you stay informed.
I agree, you are asked way too often for money or for your time.
Relationships with Other Students
I will try my best to make sure everyone gets along. Sometimes in life, you have to deal with people that you don’t care for. Please teach your child this important lesson. As much as I try to keep an eye on everyone, I cannot watch 30 children at once, or listen to every conversation they have all day long – including lunch and recess.
Please don’t ask me about another student’s private life. There are many things that can be going on in their life (divorce, illness, abuse, etc.) that I cannot tell you about. Don’t put me in an awkward position. Keep in mind that I have to deal with a class full of students, each with their own problems. Sometimes other students may be acting the way they are because of problems at home.
I will do my best to resolve any student-to-student conflict. Keep in mind that I am not the other child’s parent, and that I only can do so much – I have rules to follow as well.
Homework
I try to be reasonable. I will never send you a project at the last minute or a huge assignment to be completed the next day. If that happens, there probably is a communication gap with your child.
Keep in mind that it is hard for me to keep up with grading assignments. I could grade papers 24 hours a day and still not be finished. I have to eat and sleep sometime. I will return papers as soon as possible.
Please do not make unreasonable requests such as to call you every night and tell you what your child’s homework is. Unless there is a different circumstance that I am willing to work with, your child should be completing a planner each night to let you know of their assignments. They need to be learning responsibility.
Fundraising/Money
I hate fundraisers. I think children are asked WAY too often to sell things for various causes.
Please do not allow your child to sell things to teachers. Remember, we have 30+ kids and they are all selling something. If I purchase from each of them, I will have no money. And I hate seeing their crushed faces if I do not purchase from them.
Please remember that I have to purchase many, many school supplies with my own money. Please also keep in mind that there are less fortunate students in our class. I may not be able to buy a fundraising item from you because I have just paid for five students to go to the graduation party, five students to go on a field trip, and purchased clothing for another student (On the flip side, it makes me crazy when I pay for a field trip because a student cannot afford it, then they show up with $100 for souvenirs. That happens more than you know.).
If you are trying to think of a way to help out at school, one kind deed could be if you would be willing to donate extra money for an event for a student who cannot afford the event without financial help. On the other hand, please tell me if you can’t afford something! I am willing to help or can find someone else who will.
Gifts
Please don’t feel that you have to give me a gift. It is certainly VERY appreciated, and it is nice to know you care. But don’t stress out over one or spend money you don’t have.
I appreciate kind notes just as much, or more than, a gift – from you and from your child. I keep all notes from all students and parents. Knowing my work is appreciated means more to me than a gift.
If you feel that you must get us something, do something small – maybe flowers (from your garden), a plant, or books for the classroom. Keep in mind that most of us don’t collect apples. I have a closet full of teacher-y, apple gifts. While I treasure them for their meaning, and appreciate it more than you know, I have a lot of apple paperweights, apple pictures, etc.
Testing
You think you are sick of hearing about state testing? So are we!
It is a lot of pressure for us because we are evaluated on student performance. Students who maybe don’t do well on tests (but they do well on a day-to-day basis), students who are feeling ill, students who went to bed too late, and students who are hungry all go on a permanent record of my teaching.
I will never value your student for their test performance. I care more about seeing academic and personal growth throughout the year.
Privacy
Please remember that teachers have lives, too. If it is an emergency, I am happy to talk to you outside of school. Otherwise, unless I have specifically given you my home number, take care of it in the morning. Send me a note, e-mail, a phone call at school, or a visit.
Please don’t let you child call me just to chat.
Please keep in mind that we want to have a life outside of school. This means sometimes we will want to go out to eat, see a movie, have a drink with dinner, etc. I try very hard to be a good role model. Please don’t judge me because you see me on a date, at a bar, or at a party.
Working with Older Students
I work in a building with older students. Generally, parents seem less and less interested about the teachers and about their child’s schooling as they get older.
We love the kids just as much as a kindergarten teacher loves their students! We spend just as much time working with them.
We think the world of you if you take the time to come to a 15-minute conference or other school meetings. It’s nice to know that parents still care.
TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A SUCCESSFUL YEAR FOR YOUR CHILD!









Comments
14 Responses to Things Teachers Want You to Know
This should be required reading for parents! Great piece, Amanda.
I loved this piece! Reading it tells me a lot about what a caring, dedicated teacher you must be, Amanda. Your kids (and their parents!) are lucky to have you.
Really good advice. My kids are grown and out of college but I wish their teachers would have sent this information out or posted it in a website when they were in school. What grades do you teach?
I worked in a high school setting for 17 years and I have to agree that the request to purchase merchandise for fundraisers is quite annoying and out of control. Teachers and staff in a high school setting can see 30 to 40 students five to six periods a day. That is a lot of student’s asking! It is quite hard to say no also when you know the reason behind why they are raising money.
The privacy issue is an interesting topic. By no means do I equate being a teacher with being a celebrity, but teachers can deal with many of the same issues celebrities do when out in public. It can be hard to eat dinner in a restaurant without numerous current and former students coming up to you while eating and wanting to talk about an exciting event coming up or something that had happened in your classroom five years ago.
I agree with attending all Back to School nights, Open Houses and conferences no matter what grade your children are in. It is a way to stay connected and show your teacher and your child that you are interested.
Fabulous list!
Amen to the fundraising requests. It’s so hard to say no to a child asking, but I don’t need $7.00 rolls of Christmas wrap!
I also like your point about children acting differently around parents than in school. It’s so hard for some parents to accept, but it’s normal.
AMEN! to the comment regarding grading. As a high school language arts teacher, I spend hours in the evenings and during weekends grading papers. I often tell my students and parents that if I give the student two weeks to complete a project, then I need two weeks to grade them all. Honestly, for a five-page term paper with outline and works cited, it takes me about 30 minutes to grade each one. That is with reading it once for a general feel, a second time to correct grammar and mechanics errors, and a third time to assess content and ideas. My job is to help my students to grow as writers, so I take great care to assess their writing carefully and completely.
Great article, Amanda. I think I will print out a copy and put it in the lounge at school when I go back (gulp!) tomorrow.
Great post Amanda! I want to be a teacher (well, college professor), so this gives me some idea of what I’m in for. What, no warnings for helicopter parents?
Amanda, this is a great list. I am sure any teacher who reads it will instantly copy and hopefully include in their Book-to-School packet.
I agree with Lynn, your dedication and concern for the kids comes through in everything you wrote.
I was just thinking about the view you expressed about parents seemingly becoming less interested in their child’s education as the children get older when I saw Jasmin’s comment about “helicopter parents.” I actually didn’t know what that term meant so I googled. I am sure it must be very difficult to manage the parent-child-teacher relationship when you have two extremes such as this – the parent who takes little to no interest and the parent who is attached to their kid’s hip and need to be involved in everything, no matter how trivial.
I wish I could waive a wand and give every teacher an automatic 50% pay raise. You would still be underpaid, but a bit closer to what you really deserve.
Tomorrow? Yikes! Have a great year, Gina.
Thanks Amanda! Being a teacher has got to be one of the hardest “jobs” ever. It always blows my mind how much a teacher pays for out of their own pocket! It’s good to hear a teacher say “I love your child”: its hard to send, especially your small child, off to spend all day everyday with someone who is essentially a stranger at the beginning of the school year. Thanks for writing this!
Thanks, Ann. The kids don’t come back until a week from Thursday, and the beginning of next week will be sucked away by meetings and professional development. I have so much to do to get ready that I am going in for 6-8 hours everyday this week to get things done.
Anyone who believes that teachers really get the summer off are sadly mistaken. I have taken several classes (paid out of my own pocket) and revamped the entire curriculum for two courses this summer, plus completed the proofs for the yearbook. I was not compensated for any of the time I spent, either. I am not complaining, because it is what it takes to become better as an educator and help my kids, but it drives me nuts when people assume that I just laze around the pool all summer. I do get to do some of that, but I also work hard, and so do most of the teachers I know. Rant done!
Thank you, everyone, for the kind comments. You all had such wonderful things to say. Working in the school system, with community members, parents, students, and teachers is certainly interesting! I only wish people understood how time consuming, and costly, teaching can be. However, I went into it knowing I would never be rich, and that this was what I was meant to do. It can be really frustrating, and there are times I wish I was out of it, but the kids are worth it.
Jasmin, don’t get me started on helicopter parents! haha
Today was my first official day back. I’m trying not to cry – this is by FAR the earliest I have ever come back to work. I have a few more days to get ready for the kids.
Amanda,
This list is so awesome! It is really nice to see a teacher’s perspective. You should seriously print this list out and give it to all of your parents at the beginning of the year.
Do students really call you at home? And their parents let them? My mouth dropped open. I would have never dreamed of calling my teacher when I was a kid.
I hear you about the selling thing. Kids try to sell me things all of the time and I’m ethically not allowed to purchase goods from clients. I love trying to explain that one. I wish parents would stick to selling at their office or maybe in the neighborhood but not to teachers or other professionals in the kid’s life.
Amanda,
School started already? It’s so early! I don’t start class until the 25th, so I have a little bit of time left. I applaud you for teaching kids–as long as I’ve wanted to be a teacher I’ve sworn off the younger ones. I don’t think I have the patience and they would all probably be taller than me!
I did work at a summer camp with 9-10 year olds in Spain, so I think kids are a bit more tolerable in my mind, but I still don’t think I could do it for the long haul!
My parents have never been helicopter parents (I was one of those kids who never needed help with my homework) but I know some people who involve Mommy and Daddy way to much (and this is in college!). ND is one of those very stereotypical, “Mom and Dad donated the library” schools, but that doesn’t get you a pass academically, which is surprising to some.
I hated fundraisers as a kid. The 5 of us who live at home were all in Girl Scouts, all in band, and all on some kind of team. I grew up in the “don’t go door-to-door” era, so it was impossible to really sell anything. My mom works at the post office, and the people there are usually nice about buying things from our family (they really like the wrapping paper, though I’ve found it hit or miss as to whether you get a good roll or the ones only big enough to wrap 2 presents), but it was just so annoying! At my high school we had a mandatory calendar drive every year. You had to sell at least 3 calendars or you would get detention…did I mention these calendars were $25 each? They came with local coupons and stuff, but it was still a ripoff. I thought it was unfair to force us to sell calendars, especially given that we were paying over $7000 a year for tuition.
Jasmin,
If you didn’t sell, you got a detention? That is just insanity. We had to sell in high school too. Every year it was Candy bars and something else, maybe magazines. I went to an all girls Catholic high school so they were always trying to get money any way that they could (no public funding).
I abhor helicopter parents. After a certain age, my parents just left certain things within in my responsibility. Homework and studying were two of those things. There were consequences for bad grades (not to mention natural consequences of failing a grade or what have you) so i was motivated to do it. Of course, if I were genuinely struggling and couldn’t pass, I wouldn’t have been in trouble but for me my parents knew better. They knew I could do the work.
I’ve heard stories of parents calling employers and even calling a college professor about their adult child’s grade. I’ve worked with some helicopter parents. Too afraid to let Johnny fall and hurt his knee. These kids grow up unable to function. I am not a parent so I don’t know first hand how hard this is but sooner or later, kid’s have to stand on their own two feet. That can start early. As soon as my young niece was able to put her clothes over her head, it was her responsibility to do so. Little things like that can start to build a child’s independence. I have had clients with 10 and 11 year old children that they were still waking up and dressing!
I could go on and on about this but I’ll stop.