By Ann
Have you ever met someone, but you didn’t know quite how to greet her? I meet new people all the time, and usually I have a feel for the appropriate way to say hello. I greet children and adults that I meet through my work with a smile, a nod, and sometimes, a handshake. I usually greet my friends with a cheerful, “Hi!” but some of them are “huggers,” and my greeting isn’t enough.
I have two friends who I met through work a few years ago. We don’t work together anymore, but we still get together. One is a hugger; one is not. I get a big squeeze from the hugger and a quicker, more distant “hug” from the other. We only hug because, well, the “hugger” starts it! That’s fine with me. I am usually not a hugger. I am sensitive that others feel awkward hugging when greeting someone who isn’t in their closest circle of loved ones. I try to adapt to what I think the other person expects. Sometimes I get it right, and sometimes I don’t.
Are you a hugger or not? Do you limit your hugs to close family only? Do you give hugs freely? Can you tell if someone would prefer not to hug?
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Comments
8 Responses to To Hug or Not to Hug?
I am a big time hugger when it comes to my own kids and parents and close family. Even my husband sometimes.
However, I want my space most of the other times. I am not oppose to hugging a friend if they initiate it but I rarely initiate hugs unless someone is really upset or really happy.
I don’t always get it right but most of the time I think it is pretty obvious if people want a hug.
I’m not a hug initiator but I don’t mind being hugged. I do find sometimes the whole “to hug or not to hug?” question a bit stressful and awkward at times.
I’m definitely more huggy with family. Plus, we end most phone conversations with “I love you”, even the most casual ones.
I am not typically a hug initiator but I will hug someone back if they are. In my culture, (Filipino) young ones are expected to hug and kiss elder relatives whether we know them well or not. And I don’t mind that at all because it is a sign of respect. If I were in Italy or something, I would go right along with the hugging and kissing with no problem but here, at home, with people I don’t know so well, not so much. I think I can usually tell if someone prefers not to be hugged.
I would consider myself a “selective” hugger – LOL! I hug friends and family – even close colleagues sometimes. I rarely ever hug someone upon first meeting them – that comes in time.
Teresa, interesting how different cultures treat the protocol involved in greeting someone.
Nancy, I think I am a “selective” hugger too, although I have been known to initiate them. Typically, it’s when I feel someone “needs” a hug. I usually keep it pretty brief. I have never felt the need for the long-drawn out hug, even with my close family.
I have noticed some women have taken on what I believe is the European custom of the double-cheek kiss like they do on “The Real Housewives of New York.”
The last time someone tried that with me, I totally flubbed my part. Of well….
I am hugger of friends I am close to or family. We hug hello and goodbye. If it’s someone I’ve just met, I’d rather not hug.
The last time someone tried that with me, I totally flubbed my part. Of well….~Anya
LOL, that’s funny. I only like that w/Europeons. It seems sincere and not pretentious.
Chiming in late….. hugger. Not at a first meeting, but definitley a hugger