Do you consider virtual friendships real friendships? Do you rely on them to fulfill your needs for social interaction and bonding? Have you ever met someone you first encountered on the internet in real life and if so how did that go for you? Share your thoughts and experiences.
Virtual Friendships
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17 Responses to Virtual Friendships
Hmmm. I think for me, I’d really have to connect with a person and talk outside of the virtual world for me to consider a virtual friendship “real.” I mean, I interact with people on twitter and such that I do not consider friends. We may like the same tv show and talk about it but that is about it.
I have met people that I first met online. Mostly guys though and that is a whole ‘nuther topic of discussion. The point is that on any given day, if you enjoy discussion or banter, you can find a group of people to talk to. The question is, do you have anything in common outside of that one thing you are blogging about?
I think for the most part, 98.9 percent of my friendships are real-life friendships that started offline. I do have some people who I first met online and those friendships are great too. I guess the bottom line is, if you meet someone online (platonic or romantic) and you think you have a connection, it has to evolve into an offline friendship for it to be “real” to me. I need to see someone’s face, sit with them, spend time together, etc. That’s just me though.
Good points, Erin.
”Do you rely on them to fulfill your needs for social interaction and bonding?”
Absolutely. As with all relationships, the trust and friendship builds over time. And, of course, you do have to have more in common than one interest, but I also feel that an initial friendshipthat comes about because of a particular interest in a TV show (just to use the most obvious example!) can grow to be so much more. What I really like is I have been introduced to people completely different from me in some of the key areas people use to make connections – upbringing, religious background, political preferences, etc. These friends have shown themselves time after time, however, to be just the type of people I like to associate with – kind, funny, open to different ideas, and possessing a fundamental core of decency.
I haven’t ever met an online friend in person, although I am hoping that may come to pass sooner rather than later!
Anya, me too. I have never met anyone that I chatted w/online. I would love to meet some of our IW women. That would be so fun.
I’ve never met anyone that I’ve talked online with, but I do think they are true friendships. A little different, but still real friendship. I would love to meet some of my online friends at some point.
I’ve met one person face to face that I met online……and found her to be just as sweet as she’d seemed online……..we hope to meet again soon since we don’t live too far apart. Have spoken to a couple of people on the phone and actually feel quite close to them………I consider them very good friends.
I think virtual friendships are a good supplement to “offline” friendships. I have met quite a few people in my blog cruising that share my interests that I other wise wouldn’t have. (Imperfect Women for example!) I think it’s nice to have people who aren’t always in your inner circle to talk to. They have a neutral view of what’s going on and can sometimes offer insight to a situation that normally a person close to the issue wouldn’t have.
They have a neutral view of what’s going on and can sometimes offer insight to a situation that normally a person close to the issue wouldn’t have.
I think that’s a good point – being somewhat isolated, perhaps, from other parts of your life, they might have a different perspective on say, a fight with a spouse, because they don’t “know” that person, for good or ill.
I’ve found that online friends can sometimes before more supportive and less judgmental than real-life friends. Maybe they are less invested, in a way, even if they do care about you? I suppose this can have its good and bad points (it’s not good necessarily to be supportive when someone is going in the wrong direction), but it can be nice to get the support when you need it.
I agree with that wholeheartedly.
I have watched some people online pour their heart and soul out on to the internet only to be very surprised and angry when they don’t get the response they want. I’ve also watched as these people get very bad advice and then act on it. The internet gives a false sense of anonymity to some people and they trust wolves in sheeps clothing. I have found out the hard way myself that some people on “the web” aren’t who the claim to be. They were nice as pie to me under one screen name and nasty to me the next not realizing that I had switched names and was in fact the same person. Sad stuff. I am glad I have managed to weed out the bad ones and now have some pretty great virtual friends.
Several years ago I joined a site that followed a TV series that was based on empowering women. It was a amazing process that touched a lot of lives in different ways. This is one of the reason’s I come to this board now because I enjoy the variety of subjects and interests. I can relate to some of the headaches that having a board/ blog bring and how to keep the site running to benefit everyone. What I will share with you is that I met several of the members over a period of time and I have no regrets and still in contact with them daily/weekly. I went on several trips to meet some of the ladies and it was so much fun. We had women from Canada , California to Florida. It took a year to plan but we all met in Chicago to spend a weekend together. It was a opportunity of a lifetime to share that time with some very special “sistas” as we called each other. Talk about fun! We had 45 women meet from all different walks of life and we had a great weekend together.
So Lily put your intent out there for a IW meeting it can happen!!!
I do agree witha lot of the statements above that caution and common sense should be used anytime you are dealing with the internet. But don’t let an opportunity to pass you by to experience a new friendship.
BTW remember when I talked about going to Tampa for a Steeler game in Sept? That is from one of my dear “sistas” that was from the site who I have spent a weekend with before down in Florida. I am so tickled that I get to see her again and see an away game together since we are both football nuts and was part of the reason we became such good friends.
Very cool, Diane! 45 women from all over? I would LOVE an IW meeting like that. May I propose a “Jon & Kate + 8/IW Conference”? We could meet at the various places they visited (though they gravitate toward little kid-type things) with our ninth anniversary in Hawaii! Or we could skip right to Hawaii first.
Erin and I live close enough to “do lunch” should we ever get our schedules to mesh…
What I really like is I have been introduced to people completely different from me in some of the key areas people use to make connections – upbringing, religious background, political preferences, etc. -Anya
ITA. It’s my favorite thing about IW. We all have such different backgrounds.
I do feel my virtual friendships are real. I am only online w/IW. Our staff is close and supportive. I don’t feel comfortable using “IRL” because this is a part of my real life. It’s also wonderful to see women come together to share their opinions and learn about each other. The net affords that in only the written word w/o the judgments of a personal meeting. Kind of an interesting way to get know each other.
When I moved from Portland to Seattle in 2001, I had NO friends. When I found an online community, it was nice to have people to chat with. Some of them have become real-life friends, others have remained net only. More recently I’ve gained a few new net friends through my adoption blog and I hope to meet many of them in the future. I sincerely care about all of my friends online and off, and regardless of face to face contact, they are all important to me.
The ones I’ve met with in the world are awesome people who are exactly who they represent themselves to be, so, I don’t have any qualms about meeting people. It’s just like meeting a pen pal in the old days, the longer you write them, the more you know and the more comfortable you are with them. I’ve always only met with women in public places in daylight hours. You have to be careful, even if you’ve been in contact for a long time. There is no reason to take risks with your life. But I’ve been really blessed by my Net friends, they’ve helped me through some really hard times!
The only person I have met from meeting someone online is my Husband. I don’t know if I’m as brave as I used to be to meet people in person who I have met online. I do feel like I have friends who I have met and I consider them a different kind of friendship then the people I meet in person. I am truly greatful for Facebook. I have met and been in contact with my birth family. I just recently got in contact with a sister I didn’t even know I had until a week ago. It’s amazing!!
Darlene, I was wondering if anyone had met their spouse online. Those are interesting stories. You found another sister? That’s wonderful. I hope the contact w/your found family is going well.
Kelley, online relationships remind me of my old penpals. The speed of reply is more gratifying though. My penpals were people I met at camp so I already knew them. A couple of us would write throughout the year until we got to see each other again. There’s still one of them I wonder about when we lost touch. Maybe I’ll try to find her.
Lily, I met my husband thru Match.com late Dec of 92. We emailed back and forth for about 3 weeks and talked on the phone before met. Our first date still makes me laugh, it was like a parody of small disasters. I got lost, drove to gas station to get better directions. I locked my car while it was running. Had to call the resturant to talk to him and tell him I would be very late. He was kind enough to drive to the gas station to wait with me until Triple AAA came. Then he admitted because of his own nervousness he left his wallet at home. So we had to go back to the resturant and I had to pick up his tab. Not what you consider a good first date. But we met again for him to reimburse me and it just kinda took off from there. I can’t believe we will be together for 8 years in Dec. and married for 6 this August.
The one gift I have that Kate has mentioned serveral times is that I have learned to trust my gut feelings or my inner intitution. The board I belong to for several years and the ladies I met thru there was not an overnite happening. It took a lot of time almost 4 years before we had that meeting in Chicago but it was well worth it and a experience I treasure in my heart.
Diane, that is a great story. From the sounds of your first meeting it sounds you two were a perfect match.
Locking the keys in the car on a first date sounds like something I would have done. That’s so funny. 92, that’s when it was just sort of starting w/the match sites. You were a pioneer! Congrats on your success.
Our staff is close and supportive. I don’t feel comfortable using “IRL” because this is a part of my real life.
Well said Lily- Those are my thoughts exactly!